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can a couple ever get over DV and stay together???

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  3. can a couple ever get over DV and stay together???
  1. 3/6/11 19:33

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    it has taken me months to get to this point of where i am now, but the answer to your question for me is No, i am a week away from having a baby and me and her dad are never going to get back together. His temper got worse moment he found out i was pregnant, i have been hit, threatened every day for months that he is going to kill me and my family, drown the baby if he ever gets his hands on her. He said it's my fault because i refuse to speak to him, i have not seen him for over 3 months and his temper is getting worse because i won't give in and speak to him. After the first time he hit me, he said sorry, i was 10 weeks pregnant, i forgive him but things have never been the same. He was arrested if February for threatenennig to kill me, he again promised to get help go to counselling but it never happened, he says i am mental and mad and that he is going to take baby away from me, he won't do this though if i give in and say it's my fault, i have given him chance after chance after chance and it has got me no where, friends have been telling me to get rid but i love him so much and want our family to work so i put up with it, but about 3 months ago something clicked and i thought no this is wrong and have not seen him since. Every day i get abusive messages, phone calls and threats, i have had to change all my numbers in the hope that he don't keep doing it. All of a sudden because i am days away from having a baby he wants us to work and to be a family, there is no way i could ever be with someone that touched me like that, its one thing to shout at someone, but no one whether man or female deserve to be hit. People do not change and if he has not done it already then i really don't believe he can. YOu should not be in this position in the first place because if he really loved you he would not have laid a hand on you. I know how you feel and i have been there, and now enough is enough and i am prepared to do this all alone, my friends and family have been great and know all about it. If its like this now imagine how much worse it will be when a baby is in the picture as well. I am sorry that this is possibly not what you want to hear. You have to make this decision and when you are at a point to do it and not turn back. I hope everything works out and he proves you wrong and does change. IF you want to email me privately and chat more, plesae do so x Louuise xx
  2. 1/6/11 01:08

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    Long story short my DH has been through the roughest two years of our lives together mainly outside events effecting our little family but due to this we had to move from a home and area we were happy in to the area he was bought up in and i know no one>

    Due to what happened i had to cut myself off from family and he is the only person i know here... to months after our move we thought life was perfect and i miscarried at three months, i have two from a previous as does he and this kinda spirialed things downwards.

    i got low he took over i had counselling and he has changed first it was shouting at me in front of kids, then it was every saturday thats my step children came over he would make a point of talking to  me like s**t then picking on my four yr old, we moved closer to his children and then it got worse i fell pregnant (which we both wanted)

    but its like his intemidation grew and grew he brings up things from the past and uses them against me in an argument he has stopped helping round the house he physically made me get out of the house with no shoes and without my kids... he grabbed me by the throat and shouted at me.

    he says the same old lines i love you i'll change etc etc and although the physical stuff has stopped and he is trying can we ever really get over this????

    He saw his mum and dad fight like this and yes i hold my hands up i push him and push him knowing that he will flip out he begs me to stop but its like a pattern now that i cant till he is right in my face shouting.

    His dad used to beat him and he cant stand being pushed and i dont know why his behaviour has got like this, he doesnt drink or smoke he rarely goes out he is a fab husband and really is someone i love dearly but am i setting myself up for a fall cos they can never change???

    Our baby is due in a few months and im confused do i make him leave or hope that he is really going to change???


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