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Feel like i`ve failed
6/7/08 22:38
6/7/08 12:39
when i had ds i felt really crappy as he was up every 2 hours for a feed and i felt like i was a really bad mum coz i didnt want to feed him as it hurt so much i however carried on.
in my opinion bf and bottle feeding are gonna have the same problems as youve still got to sit and feed lo everytime they need feeding. if you feel you cant bf then express you'll have enough as body works on supply and demand basis.
as for having no time for anything else including your other lo start baby on a routine that you are happy with and in time baby will have to follow. there will be a lot of crying but as long as youve checked babys ok and isnt actually hungry then let them cry it may be that their not feeding constantly coz their hungry but because he wants the comfort of being close to mum.
6/7/08 09:56
and theres certanly no confusion btween breast and bottle-she loves both already!and i love the closeness of both too!
6/7/08 09:55
i had my baby on friday and have already after 24 hrs of just breast decided to offer both boobs for 15 mins then top her up.she takes 1 onze of milk and while im not perfect i get to rest my poor boobs have some sleep.once my milk comes in i generally find it easier and my babies settle! charlotte is windy but much happpier so am i and dh can help while i spend time with my other children.each time i have a baby im bullied into breast feeding and that alone-so im doing it my way this time! i think im less likely to stop complety!
6/7/08 09:05
glad your doing better and glad we could all be some help. This is the best place to seek advice as you'll always find someone who has experienced the same or something simular. Sometimes just asking the question will make you feel better.
Well done and goodluck
x
5/7/08 20:22
Glad to hear things are better for you, I had the same problem with my lo and I mixed breast and formula from 3wks and once I felt strong enough, at around 3 months, I went back to exclusive breastfeeding which worked really well as he was able to latch on better as he got bigger. am really glad I did this as I'm still breastfeeding now and he's 11months
Do you still latch lo on? Might be worth doing if you want to do extended breastfeeding (past 6mths in my book). Anyway, you're right too to not go beating yourself up over stopping, you've done brilliantly, especially expressing, I know how much hassle that is!!! You should be proud, we all should, not beating ourselves up!!!
5/7/08 17:30
Hi ladies,
Thanks so much for your reply's.
I have decided to express all of his feeds and maybe give 1-2 bottles of formula if need be. I am still gonna give him his first feed when he gets up as DD is still in bed and I can just spend that time with him without worrying about her. I will also do a feed just before bed if need be. One of the other ladies from Due in June has given me some great advice as she expresses all her feeds and has given me the confidence to do it. He has had EBM every 3 hours today which is great as its the first time there has been any sort of routine to him. Expressing also meant that DH could do the night feed last night and i got 7 hours sleep (have only averaged 5 hours of broken sleep since he was born 3 hours sleep up for 1.5 hours then 1-2 hours before having to get up for DD)
I am gonna do everything I can to keep up with giving him BM but am not gonna beat myself up if he needs to go to formula in the end.
I am much more positive about things today. Thanks for all your advice ladies.
S xx
5/7/08 11:00
Never feel like you've failed. I bf my 1st for 4 weeks and stopped for the same reason. The fact that you've even tried to bf is a good thing many people have to stop before then. You've done the most important bit which is the first few days. If giving formula means you get in a routine and become more relaxed then that will be just a beneficial to bubs and bf xxx
5/7/08 10:20
have you decided what you are doing yet?
Remember do whats best for you, both your lo needs a fully functioning happy mum
x
4/7/08 20:31
Please don't feel bad. I went through a very simular experience at around four weeks.....i really doubdted my ability to breast feed, milk or me! i started to lose confidence in myself and i did worry and become quite down. Unsure when the doubt set in but i remember tha my dd bf every 2 hours from birth which was normal, but when she was 2 weeks old she seemed to have days were she would feed all day. i thought this was to do with my milk and at 4 weeks after many a sleepless night i too decided to stop bf and start baby on formula.
I was not happy about this decision as i have a 4 yr old dd and i bf her fine till she was 4-5 months and i never remembered completing marathon feeds. I decided to start expressing as much milk as possible and decided to supplement with formula...however it felt strange not breastfeeding and my lo became really constipated.
I spoke to my HV who advised that babies are new to bf and sometimes it can take a while for them to learn what to do and also marathon feeding sessions are normal and they take place when baby is having growing spurt, Anyway my HV asked me to try bf again for one more week and if i still was having problems then definetley go to formula. I agreed, but i also decided to relax and seek some advise so that evening i contacted breastfeed network (charity) they give advise on BF tecnique and you can speak to someone who knows what they are talking about. This was great i described what was happening during my feeds and how long they lasted ect. The bf advisor understood everything and gave me some handy tips! Also speak to your HV maybe there is a breastfeeding group you could join and they can advise on how you are doing. They are very helpful as they can advise on how to bf comfortably and also to make sure your baby is getting enough milk each feed. You might have a baby that snacks or falls asleep, there are so many different situations! go on internet for contact numbers....
Sorry its so long
However after all that waffle, you must do what is best for you and if BF is not suiting you then change to formula at the end of the day a new baby is to be enjoyed and if you are having a very hard time then do whats best for you.
Oops forgot to say. my lo is now 6 weeks and i am bf still, but i give 1 or 2 formula feeds at night between 8 & 4. formula feeds seem to knock her outso that means i get a good few hours, don't get me wrong sometimes we have bad nights, but the majority of the time she will complete a 1x 4hr sleep during night, which is great.
Good luck
4/7/08 19:59
i would say its still early days for a routine, and at 4 weeks he's still really a newborn, and will be up frequently and feeding for what feels like constantly. It is hard work, and i can only imagine how hard it must be with a toddler to run about after too. I dont think you have to give up bfeeding completely if you dont want to, there are lots of mums who do combined feeding with either expressed milk or formula, that way you are getting the best of both. I think its hard to make a decision about what is best when you are probably tired and emotional, so i wouldnt rush into giving up the feeding until you are sure. Is there anyone who can give you a hand with the toddler? or feed lo expressed milk while you get some rest? I hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do x
4/7/08 19:33
Have you thought about giving him the breast and then topping up with formula, then at least you are still giving him your milk too.
My dd is fully breastfed during the day and then has one bottle for formula at 10.30pm and is doing great now.
He is still really young yet so its all new to him, it might just take a while for him to settle into a routine.
4/7/08 19:16
I have to make the decision to stop BF today and I am so gutted. I love feeding my baby but he is 4 wks now and I can't get him into a routine. He is up loads during the night so am so exhausted I am grumpy and snappy and getting worried about post natal depression and I have a 2 yr old so can't really sleep during the day to catch up. I really don't want to have to stop but I don't know what else to do. He seems to feed all the time and I don't have any time for DD as I am constantly feeding him. I have just made up his bottles and have expressed off some milk so he still gets some from me. Ideally I would like to express all his feeds but don't know if I have enough milk to do it.
Am sat here crying as I type this as I can't believe that I have reached this point already, I so wanted to do the best for my baby and feel like I am really letting him down, but I just can't get him to settle and he is grumpy most of the time he is awake unless he is feeding and other than getting him surgically (sp) attached to me so I can do things like make DD's dinner I can't see another solution. I just want my baby to be happy and he is not at the moment.
S xx
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i have expressed for 6 weeks and top up last thing at night with formula. it worked well for us but i have found that it takes a long time as not only do i have to feed my ds but then i have to express for at least 20 mins after to get enough for his next feed and then wash and sterilise all my equipment. i went back to feeding on my breast and i must say i find it much easier. now i put ds on the breast for every feed but his last. He will take an 8oz bottle at this feed which i get my dh to do and whilst he is feeding ds i express so if i go out and leave him in the day he can still have breast milk. you just have to go with what works for you and not feel guilty. i think that is something i have come to realise over the last 6 weeks. hope you work it out