6 weeks of constants breastfeeding, i had enough and changed to formula, its the best thing i ever did...
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- 6 weeks of constants breastfeeding, i had enough and changed to formula, its the best thing i ever did...
20/8/08 13:37
20/8/08 11:25
the spoon incident is really bad kath
it's a bit like the Dummy Debate - "absolutely never ever give a bf baby either a dummy or a bottle" I mean, this could be valid for some bfing babies but not all... I gave my lo a dummy when he was 4 days old, a bottle when he was about a week - he never got confused at all !!! (although, he will not take a dummy now lol - prefers my boob and I tell you, he knows where the boobs are lol !), it's a bit too strict sometimes, while it should be a bit more relaxed - I think the "strict" aspect of it (like, u can only hold the baby this way or the other, you cant give a dummy for tot number of weeks, you can only feed on demand etc etc) doesnt help at all (again, thanks mum who told me she bf me for 8 months and I had always had a dummy too!!!) ... aw well, we could discuss this topic all day long !so, ur Welsh, how lovely ! my lo is called Rhys - I'm actually Italian but dp is half English and half Welsh (from Merthyr) and that's why the lil one has got a Welsh name
20/8/08 11:04
That is why I feel I had problems. I live in Wolves with my partner. The in laws are about a 2 mon drive or 5 min walk away.
My parents are in N Wales where I was born and bread! lol.
My mum would have reassured me on the hard days and helped me out. But MIL simply said if you are struggling and tired then give lo a bottle and stop moaning!
The lady who gave us 'the bf speach' was supposed to be the head of the wolverhapmton support group, she was stupid. She got out a home made tit made from a pair of tights stuffed with fluff and told us all what to do. I was soooo wrong! LOL.
I was so clueless about what to do after a week I resorted to giving my son (hand) expressed milk on a teaspoon! Just so I knew he was getting something. That was the advice of someone i phoned from a number I had been given.
20/8/08 10:55
kath susanna, u r sooooo right !!!
this woman came at our antenatal classes and all she said was: "right, so to avoid cracked nipples u just put the baby like this, then if u get a crack u move the baby like that or like this and then that's it, u will be feeding for 10 minutes every 3 hours.... yeah, right !!!! then she gave us this leaflet where it said: start bf so u will also lose weight more quickly... yeah, right (again!)... havent lost a lb in 5 months and feel hungrier than I did when I was pregnant lol...
def, we need more honest people out there, especially when they need to educate younger mums - I mean, I'm 33, it's not like a have an amazingly busy agenda these days or I'm out all the time, but for a younger mum who was going clubbing up to the day before they had their lo, bf can be quite demanding and a shock to the system - however if more honesty was used I think more mums would go and do it for a long time. It just seems like they r trying to con u or something, dont know, I just don't like that attitude. I am lucky that I had my mum and her tips to help me (and her honesty) otherwise I dont think I would have made it !
20/8/08 10:49
I wish I was on here 2 1/2 years ago..... life would have been so much better with some help of you ladies.
Couldn't get my son to eat then..... still the same now!
20/8/08 10:46
Hi Sarah that is such a cute picture!!!
I feel the same as you, I always hold back from my true feelings and never share my expariences 100% as people jump to conclusions.
I too felt that it was unfair what people were posting, but I think it is all a problem with how people perceive different aspects of the information.
I do understand that some people will be offended, but there is such a thing as positive critacism.
I had no body to help me when time were hard... and my won hv told me to give up, but I didn't. (not at first anyway) I carried on, and my sons health paid the price. That is only my own experience, and I don't expect people to feel any differently about doing that in comparison to someone who chooses to stop.
It has not happened on here, but on another website alot of people were banned because this sort of discussion about bf and ff got out of hand.
Basically one woman said she chose not to bf and someone said that she didn't deserve to have a baby in that case.... as we can understand that was a bit extreme, and the outcome was no nice. But I can see the start of things similar happening here.
I know us ladies are not at all like that in here (thank God) and we are usually very supportive.
20/8/08 10:46
sarah u shouldnt feel that way - as we said many mums in this forum mix feed their los (i do it too occasionally and dont think i'm a criminal of any sort - still think formula stinks though, well aptamil does!!!!!!) - i dont have 2 children so dont know how tiring it can be but i saw how much my sister struggled when her little one was around 6wks old and wanting to be at the breast 24hrs a day... it's tough but wont last forever - in 2-3 weeks it'll become so much easier and u will not have to worry about sterilising or having to get up to make a bottle in the middle of the night.....etc - but dont get depressed about it or beat urself up if u decide to switch, gosh the last thing our childrem want from us is that we're miserable all day long - but in honesty i would tell u to give it another couple of weeks and u'll be surprised!!!! keep giving the top up if this helps u or ask ur hubby to make a bottle and give it to lo, so u can have a break and recharge ur batteries - i wont tell u to express (unless u really want to give it a try)- i myself find it too much hard work and with a toddler i dont think u've got the time to sit down for 1hr trying to get 2 onces of milk.... - pls ask these experienced mums for tips, they'll always be happy to support u
20/8/08 10:42
That's very true. My midwife just gave me a leaflet on bf which explained how to latch baby on. They didn't tell me that your nipple get sore and crack, that you get terrible stabbing pains when let down happens and that baby feeds continuously. It was my mum who told me that!
As for growth spurts, i didn't have a clue what one was and when Jack was 10 days old I thought I had no milk and was starving him. The ladies on here soon set me straight!
Jack's 20 months now and the time has shot by, I really want another one but have got to wait another 3 years while I finish uni and do my first years hospital job.
20/8/08 10:36
We definalty need to be told it's not a peice of cake, at least we know to work through it, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. If The lady at my ant natal class was honest then alot of things would have been better.
I didn't go second time around... would have been a waste of time.
And 2 1/2 years seems like yesterday. I can still see him lookng at me with his soggy eyes all covered in cream (eye infection)
My son was allergic to the world! Withing 3 hours of being born he was covered in a rash. Apparently it was a contact rash and he was basically reacting badly to the outside world. He shouldn't have come early then! He was such a monkey!
20/8/08 10:32
I wasn't going to reply to this thread but i feel i would like to have a say. While Lynsmay's title may easily have been misinterpreted and maybe it wasn't the best place to post it, but i believe as she has said that she just wanted to update people on what she'd decided to do. Bf is extremely hard work and no-one tells you this when you're pregnant, i know, with DS, i just thought that it would be a case of latching him on, him feeding for 10-15mins and then him not needing another feed for at least 3 hours, the reality was very different and in the end it made me depressed and i stpped feeding him after 4 months. I'm now bf my DD who is 6 weeks tomorrow and while she has taken to it much easier than my DS i still find it a struggle some days esecially with a 19 month old to also look after and i have had to give her the odd ff top up. And at the moment i'm having one of those days where i'm considering switching to ff. At the end of the day you are the childs mother and even by just doing one days bf you have given them a good start in life. Yes it is a special thing to do but your child once he/she has grown up isn't going to be that bothered how you fed her, as long as you fed her. My mum ff me and i don't hold it against her. It is such a hard decision to make when you decide to stop bf and i believe that is why i got depressed with DS as i probably should have stopped earlier than i did but because i felt soooo guilty i couldn't bring myself to do it, and the kind of comments that have been left on here just go to highlight the kind of unfair pressure and guilt that can be put on someone when they stop bf. I thought you ladies, especially those that have been doing it for some time, were here to help with advice and support and not be judgemental, but i will be thinking twice now about what i post from now on. I'm worried now that i will also be shot down in flames because i've admitted i occasionally give DD a ff.
A happy mummy = a happy baby, that is the most important thing.
20/8/08 10:29
it's down to personal interpretation, isnt it Kath ? I think we need to give people the right to interpret what is said as they want when u post on a public forum -- i personally found the comment quite negative but thats me... you have seen something in that post others haven't seen and vice versa - it's about reading between the lines, a way or the other...
as I said, we were just trying to explain how the first 6 weeks are usually awful - I did think about switching to formula many times myself when lo was screaming at the breast, not wanting to feed (undiagnosed tongue tie - only fixed 2 weeks ago!) etc... but I persevered (dont know why, I think because of that feeling of closeness) and it's sooooo much better now - I wish those first 6 weeks didnt exist though and wish they told u at antenatal classes that as natural as bf can be it's going to be a tough ride to start with - this is something midwives tend to<keep<away from u so no wonder mums get to<the point they've had enough at around 6 wks when the major growth spurt happens. midwives should b more honest and tell u that u r going to have a hard life but that u'll be rewarded in the long run, instead they make it appear all nice and simple from the very beginning - major mistake!!!!
2 and a half, I bet it flew by !! my lo is 5 months and it seems yesterday that I gave birth to him !
20/8/08 10:28
Jack loves them too, it's his favourite snack. We sit on the settee together and share one. Yum lol.
20/8/08 10:23
OOhhhh flapjacks my son calls them Jack Jacks and I swear that is why he is addicted to them!! All the ones I used to eat!
20/8/08 10:15
Lynsmay - Having read your subsequent posts your intentions have become much clearer, but I hope you can see that your initial post sounded like you were actively promoting ff.
I'm also 22 and have had a huge amount of pressure to ff but it was not the right choice for me whereas it was the right choice for you. I did end up having to start ff my DS at 9.5 months when I went back to university as I couldn't express enough and I will honestly say I hated it. I fought like crazy to up my milk supply and developed a strange addiction to flapjacks (oats are good for boosting supply)
I would have commented before but Jack had a severe asthma attack yesterday so only just had time to read this.
I said it before in my first post and I'll say it again that i'm happy that you made the right choice for you.
20/8/08 10:07
I am sorry... I didn't see Lyns mention that bf was a miserable experience.
I did see her mention that she decided to offer formula because she was sleep deprived, and yes alot of women can function on very little sleep and still carry out their day to day lives, and I can understand that needing sleep does not over right your baby's need for breastmilk, but who are we to judge. We do not know or can understand what sort of situation Lyns is in.
I didn't think that Lyns was promoting ff as an easy option to bf mums who are struggling, she was imply letting people know that she had made the descision to stop, and justified her reason. However her reason was not seen as justification enough, but that is all down to personal opinion.
I am sure she loved the feeling of her baby close to her skin, feeding from the milk that she alone has produced all for her baby, as all bf mums to. It is a beautiful experience..... and I miss that so much (my son is now 2 1/2).
20/8/08 09:53
noone was attacking the person but the title you used Lyn seemed slightly offensive towards bf and was not calling for any support.... I mean that clearly said bf is an awful experience... and all the mums in here were just trying to say how they think bf is a beautiful experience ....... there r many mums in here who mix feed their los or who have got to switch to ff for a reason or the other and noone has ever made them feel like bad mums (cos they r not).... I am not sure why every time a woman says bf is the best thing you can do for your child they r assumed to be wanting to victimise women who ff... not only we need a law to be able to do it in public without being called perverts, not only we have got to justify to third parties why we want to do it when our children r over one, now we cant even say we love doing it ????
apart from this, lyn, dont take it personally - you keep looking after your lo the best way you think - you have been very good at giving it a go for 6 weeks which is a good length of time, not many girls your age would have done the same - all we were trying to say is that the first 6 weeks r always very hard and then it gets better - but if it's not for you and is causing you stress, feed ur lo in an alternative way, your lo does not need an unhappy mum.
xxxxxx
20/8/08 09:08
Lynsmay.... This is why I always feel I cannot express my feelings properly. It caused such contoversy and negative feedback and I find it such a shame as a mothe who has done both bf and ff and at the time I was doing this my friend was bf while I was ff and another friend was ff while I bf and they were such great people to bring my children up with. I think I was lucky to have them. My family and in laws were very unsupportive in any decsision I wanted to make and ended up going it alone most of the time, and then being moaned at when something went wrong.
The only person who knows what to do best for YOUR child is YOU.
We are only here to give help and support and I feel so sorry for you being made to feel this way. It is such a shame that even total strangers can make us feel like a peice of dirt just by several words.
I know it may seem like a minot discretion to some people to say a few in appropriate comments and then switch of the computer.... but is then Lyns who has to then sit and contemplate what you have all said to her. I can imagine that she had an awful night, and in now racked with guilt.
What is the world coming to where we even have bullies on here?
Now I am not trying to be aggressive here or start of a massive rant/attack on people, I am simply comong to the defense of ONE individual who has been victimised.
19/8/08 21:54
it is difficult and i understand totally how hard it is, i was only giving my opinion, as i thought that is what this website is about opinions and support....why would i want to take the p**s out of something i myself did for 6 weeks....please dont all jump to conclusions, yes i got my words wrong, but my intentions were all good xx
19/8/08 21:39
sorry, just wondered what you were doing on here posting a thread like that to women who are obviousley wanting to breastfeed, your post almost seemed like you were taking the p*** out of them or something! but if you were just telling everyone how you were getting on and updating, i understand. well done for getting as far as you did, i started mixing bottle and breast at 3 weeks coz i struggled like you did, i mixed for 3 months and went back to exclusive breasfeeding but only because i had alot of support!
19/8/08 20:23
just wanted to say well doen on getting to the six week mark. I think perhaps your post did sound a but negative towards bf but I don't think that was your intention. As for some of the responses, isn't it about time we all just supported each other however we choose to feed (and not always choose, sometimes have to) feed our babies. Those of you with the holier than thou attitude to bf'ing are only making breastfeeding and breastfeeding mums come across in a negative light.
Bf'ing is hard. I found the first weeks feeding ds2 really difficult, he was a huge baby, he still is a huge baby at almost 10mths and he fed almost constantly day and night for weeks and weeks. however, having bottlefed ds1 (mix fed as he would not latch, and belivee me I tried everything to get him to bf, he was having none of it) I personally found bottle feeding harder, but that is just me. Each to their own.
Any bf'ing is beneficial and we as bf'ing mums should be supprting and congratulating others on giving bf'ing a go. If they choose to give up for whatever reason that is up to them, we don't have to treat them like pariahs. And as for the comeent that bf'ing makes you closer to your lo, utter rubbish. I feel no different towards either of my children, the act of feeding them both was lovely, whether it was done by bottle or breast.
I have been on this board since it started (and I occasionally use the bottle feeding one to) and there are always a self righteous few on both boards who have to spoli it for everyone else. These boards are about support, lets support each other.
I love the Name Rhys, but my other half thought it was too Welsh! He is 100% English. lol. So my son is called Finley, but we call him Fin most of the time.
Everything was confusing when I had my son. I did give him a dummy, much to the annoyance og the midwife and hv.. but I didn't care, I needed to have a time where my ears were not ringing! And unless they were going to come and take him away for a bit, or put me in a white cota and tale me away... then so be it. He didn't like the dummy anyway!