mum to be angry at the csa valuation of our family
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- mum to be angry at the csa valuation of our family
27/7/08 21:42
27/7/08 21:40
No, we are not entitled to have "privileges" such as computers etc when we also complain struggling to put food on the table.
M x
27/7/08 21:37
after all a lot of the single mums we pay to for our partners children are living a life of luxury (in our case she is anyway)
27/7/08 21:36
We have to have some privilidges (sp?) in life dont we?
27/7/08 20:43
I agree Moraitika, priorities and all that!!!!
27/7/08 18:47
apology accepted.
27/7/08 10:06
I have read this thread with interest as I have dh with two children from past relationships and we have paid maintenance for the past 8years.
I feel I have to comment though, in the nicest possible way, on one aspect that has been raised. It has been mentioned a couple of times about "we're living in poverty, can just afford to put bread on the table" etc/similar. If this is the case and it really is that bad (and not an exaggeration) then how come computersand monthly line rental/broadband are affordable? My apologies if the people who have made such comments are using other peoples/librarys computers.
M x
25/7/08 16:51
and thats what i've been trying to say jowooster, but everyone is so bloody eager to shoot down just like that, and it is wrong. fairplay pay for the other kids, but mine shouldnt be in poverty just to get them out of it, it should be fair to both sides, and the current p*** take they call a system needs a master reboot.
25/7/08 15:35
Why does everyone have a go at Draconia on this subject? The original post is querying why the system can be so unfair to the nrp and new family. Unless you are in this position, then you won't understand this. Of course you will only see 1 side to this story, that is the father should pay for his kids. That is fine and I totally agree with this, but not to the detriment of the new family. In a lot of cases the new family's are being left without enough money to pay bills etc, don't forget they may not be in receipt of any benefits etc. to help them pay rent, mortgage etc. If you meet someone else, who has children from a previous marriage you may then understand how much money can be taken from the nrp, including your tax credits. I know not every situation is the same and some rp's get nothing coz their ex manages to dodge the system. However their are a lot of recent guys who love all their kids dearly and want to be able to support all their children from both families. The system quite often won't allow it.24/7/08 21:56
you do know if shes on income support she will only actually see £10 of it dont you?
no amount of moaning is going to change things, he had kids he should pay for them he isnt the one looking after them 24/7 they need providing for and its only right he provides too, you seem to resent those poor children.
24/7/08 20:50
Brain damage, I think not hun. Actually work in neurosurgery, so dont think I,d be working there if I had brain damage. Here,s an idea, why dont you both work, just a thought if money,s that tight!!! I know must be a hard decision dp getting off his arse and providing for his kids.
Yeah we,d all love to stay at home and look after the lo,s, but have a bit of pride!!!!
24/7/08 15:05
right if you'd actually read this thread, you would know that i have worked and do work, and have also been training to do a qualification to better my job prospects and so bring more money into the household. clearly not from that comment.
good for you, a working single mum, but the women we are paying sit on their bloody arses so i have every right to say what i say.sdo what? we both work, lose out on time with our kids, and end up with still not enough money to survive while those pair sit on their big fat arses with our money, their dole, their new partners wages and child tax credit and child benefit for their kids and take a share of our childrens money?
are you brain damaged to think that thats ok? sorry but my kids are entitled to just as much and why is it ok for us to live in poverty but not them pair? that is my point, and dont you even dare start labelling or saying what i should and shouldnt do because either way we cant win, and the system is the biggest load of s*** going, and its the one sided view you clearly have that makes it so and its pathetic.
23/7/08 21:29
I feel i need to comment too. I myself am a single mum, work from 07.30 till 20.00 hours 3 days a week to support my son.
I have received £14 for 6 months worth of CSA.
Why shouldnt you partner pay that much, mothers have to provide a roof over the childs head, heating, lighting, food clothes etc. If you feel like you are missing out on money and feel you are struggling while his other children have designer clothes, how come you do not find employment?
He decided to have the children in the first place, so why shouldn,t he support them?
29/6/08 21:15
not yet. tbh we havent decided when we're going to do it, and its more his choice than mine, but i would like one done. and if its negative she can bloody pay us for a change...
29/6/08 17:03
Draconia has your partner asked for a DNA test yet?
29/6/08 16:53
yes it is ridiculous, it makes me sick. fairplay its a sore sub, fairplay that maintenence is necessary and in most cases i agree should be paid but the system takes the absolute and utter p***. at the end of the day, nrp and their new partners deserve as much respect and also to be able to live to an equal standard as the parent with care.
so the choice is, either new partners do all the hours and so their name is on the tax creds and as a result they miss out on their kids growing up, or the man works and loses most of it and money for our kids too, or we all just boycott the whole thing and go on benefit. have to say i am considering the last of these right now as i have had enough of being penalised by this system for my choice to love a man with two kids.
or we could all go abroad and avoid it thatway, or we can petition and protest and hope someone listens. but given the fact of the csa and government who designed this system being such b***s, i dont see a positive outcome for any of the good people whose families are being perseeceuted by this system. it makes me sick.
29/6/08 11:33
That is ridiculous taking the childrens child tax credits! Do we take any of theirs no and as it stands shes getting more than us by a long shot because shes sat at home and cant be bothered working.
29/6/08 11:14
Sorry, second post meant for vicky.
29/6/08 11:13
Hi,
Butterflybabe, Sorry too, I too can see both sides. I just think CSA does'nt give damn about nrp's families situations. I guess it's a sore subject. x
They take tax credits because, on the new system, when they work out the maintence payments, if nrp is main earner on tax credit forms they take the same % of tax credits as his income. The old system takes into account protected bills such as morgage, council tax and children at home but also takes into account partners income. This system worked out better for us. We have twins too!!!
Jo x
29/6/08 08:39
Can i ask why do they take a percentage of tax credits? Is it just the working tax credits they take as a percentage or child tax as well. If child tax that is very wrong! We get that money for our children just the same as any dps exs would get it for their children. Wheres the justice in that their not taking from the father they are taking from his children. I agree with the 15%, my dp has a daughter from a previous relationship and we now have twins they have to take into consideration that he doesnt just have his other daughter to support he has the 2 living with him as well.
Its irrelevant who else is living in luxury.
M x