mum to be angry at the csa valuation of our family
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- mum to be angry at the csa valuation of our family
29/6/08 00:43
28/6/08 15:36
At the end of the day we all want whats best for our children, and there's nothing wrong with that. I know CSA take give you a % off maintence payments for NRP's new children, what I was refering to is that it is'nt always being worked out fairly on the new system, as they don't take into account morgage payments etc, leaving us to stuggle.
I have known my lovely step children for 11 years and we have always paid for their up keep and thats rightly so. My main problem is the tax credit thing, I just don't agree that it should be taken into account. This has been awarded for my children, DH's ex gets her own and maintenence payments are not included when hers is worked out, that fine BUT we get 20% less of ours, which is then given to her. We do get reduction in maintence payments for 3 children, but we have 4 and she will get 20% of tc awarded for 4, If you know what I mean. On top of that we don't get extra tax credits because we pay maintence.
I can see % of earnings but CSA are stealing from familys by taking % of tax credits.
We pay extra £200 a month by being on the new system this happened in a matter of a couple of months. CSA should still take into account all situations, but they don't. No children should suffer.
There are some good nrp's out there who do support their children. Like I said it's not all black and white these days.
Jo.
28/6/08 14:23
dracona i'm shocked at your attitude tbh, you knew your partner had children, you knew he would have to support them, yet you resent the fact that csa will take a percentage of his wages for HIS children, even if the mothers were millionaires it is still his responsibility to support them.
you sound very jealous of these women tbh, and his other kids, if he couldnt afford the ones he had, then why did he have more kids? that is his problem but his children shouldnt loose out because of it.
also why on earth bring this into single dads
28/6/08 13:11
just noticed please read carefully i didnt even mention tax credits i only mentioned child support agency CSA its my CSA award that was altered not my tax credits,
28/6/08 13:07
check the rules if the non-resident parent has a child living in their home whether its theirs or not then the non-resident parent has the first 15% of their wages disregarded for that child, my ex has just informed the csa about this child so my award which was only done last month was recalculated and i lost £13 per week , i too struggle to live whereas my ex is the one with luxury i was merely pointing out to draconia who seems to think that the resident parent lives in luxury at the expense of the ex that this isnt the case with everyone, so to be honest she is also saying that you too live in luxury if you read her post but sorry for sticking up for us resident parents by saying we dont live in luxury and that i hope she doesnt find herself in that situation in the future i wasnt being nasty to her i was just angry that she can say we are all like her boyfriends exs when like i said we are not and yes i have remarried and had children with new husband of which he doesnt have children elsewhere but if he did then i would expect him to pay for them because if not then he wouldnt be the man for me or my children..
28/6/08 12:23
Life just is'nt black and white, especially these days when step families are so common. All families need to be taken care off and not one put in poverty to pay pay for the other.
***"15% of my award taken away" what rubbish. There is a system in place which has been put in place to recieve the maximum amount of money possible from the non-res parent. "every case in unique and should be treated as such and you have no right making judgement " ***
Quite right, but that is not the case as each case is treated the same with the same rules being applied regardless of income or ability to pay.
***"you make me sick". ***
Well are'nt you a charmer. Perhaps you should show a little more empathy with others and perhaps that would be extened to you too? Maybe not though!
With regards to your last post, in the same way. lets hope that you don't meet a new man with kids from previous relationship and a % of your tax credits, awarded to your 5 children, are given to another family. I'm sure you would be very happy about that. NOT.
and I'm not 20, I'm 37 years old with 4 children and stuggle to buy shoes for them, when DH ex IS living a life of luxury. x
28/6/08 11:33
meant to say how did i know that all this rubbish was coming from a 20 year old, lets just hope in years to come you dont get left with your child and another little girl comes along and tells your partner not to pay to you.
28/6/08 11:26
too be honest draconia you make me sick every case in unique and should be treated as such and you have no right making judgement just because of your situation,the comment of these women living a life of luxury is rubbish i have 6 children with my ex husband and its took the CSA 5 years to now finally sort out my case and because my ex lives with a woman who has a kid i have had 15% of my award taken away for that kid which is in my opinion wrong after all its not my kid so why should some of my award be taken away from my children? i dont have a life of luxury i struggle to afford to take my children to butlins once a year whereas my ex and his girlfriend and her kid go abroad twice a year they have also bought their home etc i cant afford to do that, my ex never gives my children anything i have to provide everything and after giving him 18 years of my life and 6 children he is an a*** so before you slate us mothers of the children left behind think about everyones case being unique and only think of your own situation after all nobody told you to get with a man who had responsibilities did they that was your choice ..
amanda
life of luxury ha bloody ha
25/6/08 19:36
yes benefits are easier, we'd be way better off. its bloody daft when its like that. and it sickens me that those women live a life of luxury while we struggle. it takes the p*** to be blunt. why should they have any more than my kids? its damned wrong and i think its time that the system was changed to be fairer to both sides not just the parent who has the kids.
24/6/08 12:37
just reading through everyones posts and just wanted to say that if I was in the op situation id def make my partner get a dna test,. Theres no point assuming the kids his etc its better to knw full stop., As someone said previously id rather spend money on a dna test rather then have doubt in my mind that the child im paying for might not be mine.
I can understand the csa has a job to do and probably doesnt get it right all the time. Unfortunatly the people that have a job and want to better themselves find it harder in the long run. Sometimes I think its easier to be on benefits as then you dont lose so much of your money. Im not in this kind of situation but it would personally annoy me if we ended up struggling and my family suffereing.
21/6/08 15:38
just read this and wanted to say if he has dna test done the csa will pay and he only has to pay if the child is his, I have had this with my ex and get annoyed with him saying but I cannot afford the Dna test but he can afford to give a 10th of his monthly money to someone elses child..............................
8/6/08 17:31
Hi, if your DH wanted to see his son i think the courts would let him. My Ds's dad hasnt seen him for 4 years But is still allowed to have contact after that amount of time, in a way that is less stressful to DS. So im sure ur dh would be allowed contact if he really wanted to go for it. It is his right as a parent. As for the csa, have you called them to find out how the payments are worked out? i understood that they take a certain percentage of the familys salary and split it between the amount of children he is responsible for. They might be able to explain to you why the amounts are as they are. Also, if you talk to them about not being able to afford it, they may listen to you. If they can see that your money is going on necessities(sp) and you really cant afford that amount they may look at it again.
If your Dh's ex is getting benefits and all the extra money too then that is fraud and she will get found out one day and will have to pay the money back again. with regards to proof that the money is being spent on the children, if they are clothed and fed then the money is being spent on them somewhere along the line. and in the future, if she isnt saving the money, she will have to fork out for everything our of her money coz she wont be able to ask for any more money, like when the kids need school uniforms etc.
8/6/08 16:00
well how i see it its not achieving anything. the government are justputting our children in poverty instead of the first round. they need to cater for both, because while i accept that dp has a son at least, and if the girl is his, a daughter, i dont think it should be a case of they have priority over mine because they are firstborn. all children should be seen as equal, and the mans new family shouldnt be screwed over for the one he left behind. its just wrong.
i know it is a taboo thing. i respect that somemen are b***s and this is why some people have the views they do, but i think the system isnt fair on anyone and that something needs to be done.
7/6/08 22:59
I know love, it's so bad when you barely have enough to live on and the ex is doing mighty fine. I do still feel really bitter but I try not to let it get me down. My husband gets made redundant this year, so we very may swap roles so that he stays at home. That way we won't have to pay as much, I have to put my family first and play the system just as she has for the last few years.
The CSA stinks.
It great to hear that others are in similar situation, I sometimes feel that it's such a touchy subject and your scared to say anything in case you get your head bit off. Just like you did.
There are always 2 sides to every story and it's not always black and white, like some of the earlier posts seem to think. Our situations need to be take seriously too, it's not just the step children who suffer. The goverment need to do something about it.
7/6/08 12:46
this is what my problem is. even though the women themselves did him over in the relationships, i wouldnt mindpaying if a) he saw his son, and b) we could actually survivemoney wise. but the fact that neither happens, it makes me sick, and seriously i hate the csa. itsalright people saying oh you're out of order and all, but they dont have to live like we do.
7/6/08 10:42
No it's def right. DH appealed and went to court, where a rep from CSA was there. The judge agreed that it was morally wrong but it is the law. Advised us to go to local MP as this might help others in same situation. Yes the ex of course gets her own WTC.
7/6/08 09:56
Now that ia outrageous they should not take 20 of your child tax credits that is given to you for your children just as she will be receiving tax credits for her children. I wouldnt defiantely get that looked into. I believe they should only take into account the fathers wage.
6/6/08 14:23
Forgot to say that his ex gets 20% of our tax credit as well as 20% of his earningsl. Now thats just outrageous. Sorry to go on .Sore point.
6/6/08 14:14
I want to reply to Draconia to say that I am in the same situation as you. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage they are teenagers now but I have known them since they were 3 and 4. I love them to bits and we have great relationship but I do agree that the CSA don't always take into account the new family's situation.
We have always paid through the CSA. We paid around £200 a month through the old system, when we both worked full time and had no children, after we had our first child 6 years ago, I continued to work full time and payments stayed more or less the same. I then had twins so had to leave work as I was a shift worker so unable to arrange nursery care, that aside nursey fees for 3 kids aged 2 and under would be unaffordable. We then had a reassessment and payments went to virtually nothing. His ex then closed the case, waited 3 months and reapplied for CSA under the new system and we then had to pay £250 a month!!!! Big difference from 1 system to another and totally unacceptable.
Other people may not think that is a problem but it was a hugh problem for us as this then left us in desperate situation, with only £1000 coming into household, including tax credits and family allowance and mortgage over £400 plus council tax of £90 and other main bills we were stuffed.
My husband since changed his role to 9-5 so I can work in evenings otherwise we so could have lost our house. CSA would'nt have give a shiny you know what.
Of course absent fathers should pay and support thier children but not to he detriment of new family's. The old system was fairer for us as It took into account the whole picture and included Mortgage payments ect.
I still feel bitter when I'm stuggling to pay for shoes for the kids and his ex can afford lovely holiday's, etc.
5/6/08 19:50
im just leaving this thread because people are not getting what i am saying. as for the two relationships, i know how they ended and they werent his fault and hes been with me for years, and aint going nowhere.
shame people cant see that sometimes its not always the man whos a b*** but the woman being a b***.
dont get me wrong jo i can see both sides of the coin and i know the rules are complete crap i as much as said that to a woman at the CSA but i didnt mean to offend anyone its just when i think of my ex and the woman who broke my marriage up buying a home and going abroad twice a year when my children dont have any of that, i wouldnt mind if the deduction from my CSA award was because he had a baby with her but its not his child and she gets CSA from her ex for the child anyway so really the CSA are deducting from 2 men for the same child so thats wrong, i am sorry your tax credits are affected as mine arent and i wouldnt take from my ex's tax credits i just want him to pay his CSA to me for our 6 children as he hasnt paid a penny for 5 years, i just wanted to make the point to the other lady that us resident parents arent all money grabbers living the life of luxury well i am not and i just wanted to say dont think we are all bad..
sorry again