Thanks for your support.

I have spent a lot of time explaining how I feel and he has compromised with his plans so that he's not away all weekend.  We have also planned to do something nice together before and after he comes back.  I have arranged to spend some time with my mum and go and have a girly day so that I am not focusing on him being away the whole time x

Gate crashing - didn't want to read and run.  Sounds like you need some serious TLC.  Have you tried asking your dp not to go out as often and that you need him to lavish you with some attention - you both suffered and you need to pull together and he is not helping (although helphing himself) - sorry don;t mean to sound harsh against your dp as it is obvious you love him (Can;t imagine how much pain you must have been in before).  If he inisists in going out i think you need to treat yourself (get the gf round with a chick flick etc- or pamper yourself - you deserve it!!!  Good luck to you. xx

Thanks for your messages - it has made me feel less alone x

mmm, it's tricky for you insn't it? I think , (and I base this on my own experience) that your feelings of anxiety and insecurity are amplified by the fact you are pregnant and not 'looking' your normal gorgeous self. You would worry if you were not pregnant but hormones will make you feel worse. I would love to tell you not to worry, he obviously loves you and wants you and he made one mistake and won't do it again. It could be absolutely true. However, it wouldn't make you feel any better because his behaviour is not witin your control, only his. What is in your control however is to have a back up plan. To face your fear head on so to speak and plan a way out of feeling like this. You can not go on forever as it will destroy any love you had for each other. I'm not saying you should plan to split up or anything like that, but plan to feel better about the situation. That may mean go and have some fun yourself, it may mean live without him as a partner, it may mean live with his mistake, allow for the fact he may slip up again, but know it's you he really wants to be with and have his children. Don't depend on him for everything until you are absolutely ready to. Find other routes of support and comfort.

Hope that helps, I know how you feel, have been there, big hugs xxx

Crikey, I can totally understand your feelings!  I'd be feeling like that even if I wasn't pregnant.  I worry what my dh might be up to on the rare occasions he goes out and he's never (to my knowledge at least.....) done anything like that and I don't think for one minute he ever would.  I'm afraid I can't really give you any advice because I just don't know what to tell you but I didn't want you to feel ignored either - all I can say is that I totally understand.  I'm not sure I'd even have been able to take him back if he were my oh - I don't think I'd ever trust him again.  You really don't need this worry when you're pregnant either.  I wish there was something useful I could say, I'm really sorry!  

Hi

I am really struggling to cope with feelings of insecurity.  My partner is a few years younger than me and I had believed that we were so happy and strong whilst trying for another baby (following a miscarriage last year).  Then I found him in bed with someone from a one night stand !  He explained that he had been feeling really down and had just wanted to be next to someone - why not me ?????? Anyway, I stayed strong and really believed that I had forgiven him but knew it would take time for the trust to return.  When I got pregnant again, we were both so happy but after a few weeks everything hit me and I became so upset, insecure and possessive.  As I had no sign there was anything wrong before his infidelity, I feel like I would not see any signs if it was ever going to happen again.  I was obviously not enough for him before, so why am I now ( I'm 37 and womanly, she was 23 and very slim).  When he goes out occassionally, I spend the whole night worrying, feeling anxious and getting myself in a right state.  He promises to text me every now and again, but once he starts drinking it never happens.  He is a loving caring supportive partner that  shows me load of affection and whom I totally love, but I am so scared that this is going to destroy us. We have spoken about it, but he has managed to put it in the past and I am finding it really hard.  I know my hormones are probably adding to my feelings, but I feel so sad.

Sorry to waffle, but I needed to get things off my chest as he has just told me he is going out next weekend and I can feel my anxiety rising already.