We also decided not to have any tests done when I was pregnant. I've worked with children with all kinds of special needs and disabilities and know from experience how loving and wonderful children with Downs Syndrome are. As it turned out we had a 'normal' (I hate that term) healthy baby boy but I would have loved him just as much no matter what he was born with. I think you made a very good point about some doctors treating downs babies as the end of the world, it's wrong and should not be allowed

What a lovely post.  We have decided not to have any of the screening for Downs or anything else.  We both believe that what will be will be and as you say, its not the end of the world.  I have always strongly believed that your disabled child is first and foremost your child and we will deal with whatever comes our way.  We had fallen in love with our unborn children from day one of pregnancy and they are always going to be with us come what may. 

How lovely to hear a positive experience for once.  Its all too easy to just listen to the bad stuff isn't it?

What a wonderful website! Loved reading it and seeing your picsxxx

whoops!!!  I mean this to be posted in the 'older mums to be' forum, so so sorry!!!

Hi Ladies,

First of all congrats to you all on your lovely bumps!

I wanted to post a message that may help ladies who are having tests or may have been told they are high risk for downs syndrome.

I feel very strongly that having a child with Downs Syndrome is absolutely NOT the end of the world.  It is rewarding, fulfilling, emotional, bonding, educational, fills you up with love and gives you back more than you could ever hope to give!  In fact it is no different to having a child without DS, the feelings are the same but sometimes the intensity of these feelings is so fierce, and I put that down to a mother’s defensive and protective instinct against how other people perceive her child.

In 2006 a CVS at 13 weeks confirmed that our baby had downs syndrome.  What I really wasn’t prepared for was how the Dr and Midwives kept saying how "sorry" they were, and with hindsight I think it was the way they told me that left me confused and upset, they really did almost make me believe it was awful news and not once did they say anything positive.  I don’t regret having the screening done as it gave me plenty of time to really find out such a lot about downs syndrome that I just wouldn’t have been able to find time to do immediately after our baby was born. 

None of us can ’choose’ what our children will be like, we just love them so much with an unconditional love that overwhelms us.  They may be ’healthy’, they may be ’poorly’, they may be ’clever’, they may be ’funny’, they may turn out to have something that cant be picked up with pregnancy tests like autism or adhd or tourettes, they may turn out to be a kind person, or they may turn out to be an alcoholic thief, we just don’t know what the future might hold, but whatever it may be, we love and accept our beautiful children, with or without a syndrome.

I have 4 children, the two eldest girls have teenage-rebellious-syndrome, the 12 year old has Autism and tourettes, and our newest addition who is one year old has downs syndrome, they are all wonderful and we love them all to bits!

Our website is http://www.brettjack.co.uk

Good luck and kind wishes to you all,

Kath