1:64 risk of downs- detailed scan vs amnio
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- 1:64 risk of downs- detailed scan vs amnio
9/10/08 21:00
8/10/08 19:25
Hi Sharon
Growth ok and been released from consultant for that - but baby STILL breech! So have been given exercises to try to shift it - yes I will be crawling around on all 4s later! Got 2 weeks to turn it otherwise back to consultant. I had a really good birth on my first pregnancy so really dont want a c section. Not organised at all - a little hysterical! Finishing work 2 weeks on Friday so hoping to get sorted then... not a hospital bag in sight in my house..... Glad all going well with you and Lucalilly - its good to hear.
Sammi7204 I have very similar odds to you (as does Lucalilly). Ive made the choice not to have the amnio and to live with my decision and each time I get scanned I am so glad Ive made the choice I have. When this thread was started I was scared stiff - now Im not....ok - I wonder about the outcome of my decision but not with fear.The triple test was not good for me because when I got the results I could already feel the baby move and was bonding - there was no point in me having the amnio. (although can understand why people do as theres a period of time when its constantly running around your mind) Hope your happy with your decision and keep us updated
Kate x
8/10/08 17:03
Hi Baloobears,
I am good thanks, 32 weeks now, cant believe how quick the time has gone!! It feels like a life time ago that I started this thread........ when I think back to how i was feeling then compared to now its like it was happening to another person if you know what i mean.
I know what you mean about hearing everyone else's story it really does help to put everything in perspective, you have all the good news from the ladies who get the all clear ( even with some very high risk ratios!) and then the 'real life' scenarios from the ladies who do have down syndrome babies which has definately made me realise that I will love my baby just as much as anyone regardless of any special needs he/she might have and that we will cope!!
How are things with you? hope you are keeping well after all the things you have had to endure through this pregnancy.
xxx
8/10/08 16:54
Hi Kate
34 weeks, how time flies......... Are you organised yet?! How did your scan go today? Is baby still measuring small? Mine was measuring big (2 weeks ahead) but now they will stick with original dates and saying it is a big baby! 3lbs already.
It's good to read the posts from the mums who have children with Downs, makes the prospect of us having a baby with Downs far less daunting. Guess that's what the thread was there for when Lucalilly started it. Lucalilly - how are you?
Sharon
8/10/08 15:18
Sammi, congrats on your pregnancy, (I'm 13 weeks gone). I can;t really help with your question as my bloods with my son were low risk 1:954 so never even thought of an amnio but I was actually 'the' 1 and my little boy has downs. Since then I have said that I wouldn;t bother having the bloods again unless I was certain that I wouldn;t continue with the pg - so this time we are not having any tests. I suppose now though your in limbo a bit as you don;t know for sure if your baby has ds or not but if you would continue with the pg anyway then maybe just try and prepare yourselves by finding out more about the condition. I wish we'd had the chance to prepare before having George as its hell of a shock after the birth. There is a great website/forum for parents of babies and kids with downs www.upfordowns.co.uk Feel free to have a look around and join if you want to ask any questions. We've had ladies on before who were pregnant and didn;t know for sure if their baby had downs so you'll be made very welcome. Take care and good luck for a healthy pg - are you a due in march on bounty? I'm april xxx
8/10/08 15:14
Hi everyone... its been lovely hearing all your posts, your daughter sounds lovely Sarah.. I must say I have two boys 12 and 17 and the 17 year old!! Ok.. he does not do drink or drugs and he does not give me much grief staying out... but back chat.. he wrote the book.... so there are problems in every direction.. keep posting and keep talking everyone.. it keeps me sane!!
Sammi.. you are 1 in 70 which on the face of it is good odds, that everything will be ok, even though you are classed as high risk.. I was 1 in 35 and it turned out my baby had downs and unfortunately I chose a termination... there have been people on this site who are 1 in 2 and have been given the all clear.. it really is a personal decision... as far as the amnio is concerned.. I had a good experience with n o problems at all...the thought was worse than the procedure!! at my hospital there was a risk of miscarriage of 1 in a 100 but to be honest I did not think about that at all... so if you need to put your mind at rest then that is the way forward... Having said that if you are not bothered if there is anything wrong like downs.. then why have the amnio.....
As you can possibly see from my threads and the help I ahve had from these lovely ladies.. I have had a tough time and am still having one....been to see my counscellor today and she has really helped..but its a long long road....
Lewis is lovely by the way.. and its really interesting hearing about the normalness of Sarahs life.. it puts everything into perspective..... my counscellor said today.. you dont see that many children with downs these days... due to the amnios and people deciding to terminate.... how sad is that.. really...
xxxxx
8/10/08 15:09
Hi Bagpuss, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, I love hearing from people with older children as i must admit the thought of George not being a little boy anymore scares me. I just want to keep him little and with me all the time lol. I know every parent worries about their kids growing up but I suppose our worries with our special ones are just different worries. I know when my daughter starts going out by herself I'll be a wreck. Lovely to hear from you, Claire xxx
8/10/08 14:02
i think about the future too.. lewis as got 3 elder brothers & an elder sister but there is no love like a mothers is there? I wish i were a few yrs younger (maybe 10) then i'd have another baby....
Sammi hope everything works out well 4 you... cant giv u any advise really as i didnt have my bloods done wen i was pg but if u read bagpuss's thread her bloods were very low but u only have 2b that 1... xxx
8/10/08 13:30
hi there, i just thought i would ask some opinions please? im 17weeks gone today but was offered an amnio last week as theres a 1:70 chance of downs so classed as high risk, i ended up turning it down as i think if the risk had been higher i would have done it but i just didnt feel comfortable with it and if i had had it done me and hubby wouldnt have done anything with the results (eg terminate) so i was just wondering what others would have done in the same situation? xxxx thanks xxx
8/10/08 11:16
Thanks
your right there about not having the usual problems parebts of teenagers have! My nieghbour has a 13 year old son and the way he behaves and speaks to her is disgusting, mind you she spoils him rotten and I can see in a few years time if anyone says no to him he is more than likely to pull a knife on them!Our kids are special, I wont say its all plain sailing as when they get older we will have different problems but at least they wont take drugs etc
The thing thats getting to me now is that I am 50 in January and have lost a few friends in the past year of the same age and you always thinks what if thats me how will Sarah cope? Luckily I have a wonderful elder daughter who would take Sarah I have never said she has to but she wants to which is good
8/10/08 10:42
bagpuss thanks 4 sharing that with us...i love reading stories like that..think in this day n age ur very lucky to have a daughter at the age of 14 that is not going off the rails.. iykwim.. i have an 18yr old n a 16yr old aswell as my special 9month old.. the older 2 are a contstant worry 2 me... they go out,never answer the phone or let u know when theyre not gona bother coming home!!!! bet u dont get any of that?? i know i wont get it with our lewis either, ... once again thanks 4 sharing xxx
8/10/08 10:03
8/10/08 10:00
Hi there I have just found this forum and have been reading all your posts and I thought you may like to hear my story?
I was 35 when I was pregnant wth my third child and I had the triple test and the results were 1:5640 so I was told everything was perfect.....I gave birth and immediatly I could see my baby had Downs Syndrome, I was that 1 in the 5640, I was shocked, devasted and couldnt really bond with her for 12 hours but then something suddenly clicked when she looked at me and I vowed them that my daughtr would be the best Downs Syndrome girl there could ever be, she would be treat just like any other baby. The consultant came in when we got the blood results and started going on about there are plenty people out there who would like to adopt a baby with Downs, I told him where to go, then the paediatrician came in and started saying how my daughter would never read or write, use a knife and fork, etc and would in her words ’be very placid and sit in a corner’ for christs sake this was 1994 not 1894!!! Luckily the lovely nurses from the CDU came to see me and showed me booklets etc and told me halp was out there.
Fast forward to 2008 Sarah is now 14, she has been to mainstream school up to now and at the moment is doing a dual placement with a local special school as well to give her independant living skills etc, she won 2 awards at the mainstreal school for PE and a form prize, she is a typical teenager who loves dancing at which she is excellant at, singing...not so good lol and just doing girlie things, I dont see her as having Downs at all. yes we have had some tough times she can be stubborn, horrible but yet what child cant be? She has recently been diagnosed with ASD and to me thats worse then the Downs but hey shes still Sarah my daughter and I have learnt to live with it.
I am just so grateful that my risk was so low that I wasnt offered an amnio cos god knows what I would have done if I knew she had Downs before she was born, I think I would have kept her but at least I could have learned about Downs before I had her, all I thought about Downs was older people with tongues out and pudding basin haircuts. Sarah has never stuck her tongue out so we were lucky there.
Oh and she has a boyfriend now from special needs youth club, a lovely lad called Gareth who is autistic she says they are ’just friends’ lol
Good Luck to you all in whatever you decide but all I want to say is our lives have changed with having Sarah, its a different life but we have made many friends along the way and its a good life.
There is a poem called ’Holland’ if you google it you will find it, its about having a child with Downs and is excellant
7/10/08 19:52
Hi Sharon!
How are you doing? Im 34 weeks nearly....so not long at all... Frightening to think that in my 1st pregnancy at this stage I only had 4 weeks left! Having my fair share of sagas (although nothing like yours) - got another scan tomorrow (As small for dates etc) and also baby is currently breech... If I didnt really think this was another girl Id be thinking it was a boy causing me all this trouble! Anyway - hope your ok...
Kate x
7/10/08 13:12
Marguerited
Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy. You must be delighted to have him at last.. I've still got 12 weeks to wait, but getting there and can't wait to meet our baby.
Sharon
6/10/08 14:40
Ive kept an eye on this thread as all your posts helped me so much when I was going thru waiting for an amnio / results.
Andrea your story is very inspirational to other women who might be going thru a similar experience and you are being very very strong to share it. I cant imagine that I would be as brave as u have been, you should be very proud of that.
Margaretied - CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your little boy! After what Im sure has been a very long pregnancy for you, now he's here and I wish you all the best for the future, I hope you and your family are very happy : )
I think 2 every1 whos shared their stories in this forum u should be so so proud of yourselves : ) and I wish everyone the best of luck, whether pregnant now or trying or just enjoying the family u already have.
L.x
6/10/08 11:37
If ever u need a chat.. XxxX
6/10/08 11:29
Hi everyone...
Had a really difficult weekend with one thing and another but your conversations are incredibly helpful they really are.... I do speak to my lovely husband, he feels the same as me.. we are both very much of the opinion that we should have kept Daisy.. but we diddnt and we have to live with that. I have no idea what it would have been like if we had.. I only know that I would ahve loved her.. our lives would have taken a different track.. we would have met people who we otherwise would not have done.. I would have just liked to be a little bit more informed. I was told over the phone that my baby had downs and my first thought was >.. I just want a termiantion and I want my life back to normal.. I did not stop to think at all.. It just felt like an alien....How awful was that!! Its not until you see the baby in the flesh that you realise that she was a human being.... I dont think for one second that it is an easy option..... I was worried about other things as well.. like heart failure.. I kept thinking what if.. I only have the baby for afew years and he/she died.. would I be able to cope.. there are so many things to think about.. but sometimes.. I think we think to much... if you understand..... I wish now I had just got on with it.... I have a full life.. I have my beautiful horses and my dogs .. I live in the country and its wonderful.... I know I could have given Daisy a lovely loving life and I will always regret that..... I am having some help and I have found it very beneficial....but I just want to know more and I want ladies to really think about the decision before they decide.... I found out on the Friday and if I could have had a termination right there and then I would have....I had to wait almost a week.. but in that week.. no one.. no midwife, no health visitor... no professional spoke to me about my decision at all... I dont think that is right... I was on a mission.. and I was going through with it...... that has to be changed.... I should have met parents with a downs baby and spoken to them.. I think that should be an optino open to all parents....
x Thanks ladies.. you are a massive help... To those who have pmd me.. I will reply...
4/10/08 17:56
Moira, also I feel I was totally honest in answering the questions that Andrea asked about having a baby with downs. If you think I or anyone else is painting a 'rosy' picture that is because most of the time it is. We are not on here to try and make anyone feel guilty, just to offer some help and friendship as we who are already parents of a baby with downs are a bit further along the journey xx
4/10/08 17:49
Marguarited, Congratulations on the birth of James, I bet he's gorgeous. I have a little boy called George who has downs, he's 2 now and is the light of my and all my family's lives. There is a great website/forum for parents of babies and children who have downs www.upfordowns.co.uk , if and when you feel ready take a look, you will be welcomed on there and its a great place to get advice etc off other parents. Take care and enjoy your little boy xxxx
Moira, I don't know where you got your theory about parents not wanting another child with downs. I'm pregnant with my third child - my second one has downs, and me and my partner have decided not to have any tests as we will love any child that we are lucky enough to have.
Lucalilly, Kate and Sharon, its been lovely to read your posts. You all sound so positive now and are just eagerly awaiting the arrivals of your precious little bundles the same as any other expectant mum. Part of me wishes that I'd had chance to prepare before I had George as I feel I wasted the first few weeks of his life being upset and in shock. Now though I don;t really think of him having downs very often, he;s just George and is a right little monkey like all 2 year olds are. I wish you all well with the rest of your pregnancies and if any of you has any questions about downs I'm usually on here every day so just ask away. I don;t know if you've seen the link I put on for www.upfordowns.co.uk but its a great forum created by parents of a little boy with downs and there;s lots of mums (and some dads) on there who will make you very welcome. There's also a picture gallery where you can see photo's of our lovely kids - you have to register as a member to see them. Keep us updated with any news. love claire xxxx