I think you are right you have got to protect your kids.  If df wants to have contact with her that is something he will need to think about, but point out to him that her involvement has and will have an effect on your relationship together.

Good luck, I feel for you

xxx

we havent spoken to my mil for over a year as she tried to split my family up, nearly ruined mine and df life with her lies and put ds 1 at risk, threatened to kidnap him, shes really manipulative kept telling me i had pnd when, i didnt split me and df up, she was jealous of the attention ds got from friends etc . had to move to a differant area to get away from her and sort our relationship out, a week after we moved in we had all our phones off so ds1 could have a sleep in peace she left nasty messages on my mobile and df said that she wasnt to call my mobile and if it was off  ds was asleep - her reation to this was disowning df as he was a mistake when he was born and was the cause of all the problems in her life at 2 year old it was his fault she was raped etc he was to have a miserable life and she hated ds1.

a week ago df had to contact her to get his birth certificate and shes acting like everything is ok hunky dory  nothing ever happened, phoning constantly and has even bought  a present for ds2.  i feel really bad as i cant ever forgive her or trust her round my kids and have told this to df and that shes not allowed to see them.  frankly i dont want her in our lifes and its putting a strain on me and df relationship *** src="http://my.bounty.com/smiley/msn/cry_smile.gif" alt="" />   

df brother has had no contact with her since he was 18 mths and still wont he hates her