AWW thanks girls xxx

I don't think you're being childish and spiteful at all, and thats when we havent heard the full-story.

I'm not even going to begin with my MIL, but you are not alone.  They grind us down and cause some of our biggest arguments with our OHs.  I swear my MIL will be the end of us.   xx

No I dont think your being childish either. How much are you suppose to just let go and forget about? If you do that its setting yourself up for her to walk right over you

hmm not quite the way i want to go about it... and i dont think i am being childish atall, like i said in the first post i cant explain full story as its way too long to go into so really u cant comment that its being childish. thanx for all advice tho x

Why not try to bury the hatchet?

Send her a letter saying you know you haven't seen eye to eye but she is the childrens grandmother. She can come to the hospital for a little while after the birth on the condition that she is envolved a little in the childrens life. That she should arrange to see them at least once a month with your DH.

That way you and her never have to meet apart from birthdays and christmas. I think cutting her out it just childish and spite full which your mother is trying to point out nicely.

Emma

thanks for ure reply. i dunno wot it is with mils, they all seem to be the same! they dont wanna know u when ure expectin then as soon as a bubba arrives they r all over u - well the baby, and they just think that its ok to s*** u off.

well i am goin to stick by wot ive said and not let her see the baby, i dont even wanna let her know wot sex the baby is! i know to some people it might sound harsh but considering she hasnt really acknowledged that im pregnant, why the hell should i let her have anything to do with the new baby?

my mum reckons by the time the baby is here i will of changed my mind and cos it wil all be excitin i wil give in but as far as i can see it no way!!

hope ure mil doesnt still give u grief over how to bring up ure child x

My MIL was the same before I got pregnant. I never saw her. She made it clear what she thought. She told everyone that I was a goldigger. She put my family down, and always commented on my personal apperance, so when I fell pregnant she was over the moon. She made comments about my expanding waist ( like it wasnt going to grow!!) she was always telling me what to do when the baby arrives eg what the temp of the house should be. how to put him down for naps. not to give him a dummy! The more she told me the more i was determind that she wasnt going to play a big part in our lives.

Now the MIL only sees LO twice a week. In your situation I wouldnt let that woman anywhere near you or the kids! A father who leaves the kids for months on end and sees them when they can be bothered is looked down upon ( and rightly so) so why is it different with grandparents? She needs to respect you, not only as a mother but as her grandchildens mother, until she can do that I wouldnt let her in!

Hi just need some advice on my mil. i cant tell the full story as its so long and has been goin on for nearly 3 years now.

well heres the jist of it- i am 5 months pregnant and have a 2 year old son and me and mil are not on speakin terms and havent been for the best part of 2 years- down to her. I know for a fact that she has never liked me since me and dp have been together, especially when i got pregnant with her grandson.-who she wasnt bothered about whilst i was preg. also the day he was born she wanted to be the first to see him which p***ed me off cos i wanted my mum to see him first , then she only stayed for 5 minutes cos she had to rush off up bluewater shoppin centre to meet  someone!

i have tried my hardest to get along with her but thers just always been something about her, the way she looks at me , speaks to me, ignores me when im speaking and generally just pretends to dp that its all me all the time.

She hasnt congratulated me on my 2nd pregnancy and the advice i am really lookin for is what do i do once the baby is born?

Its not about her ringin me up to say congrats or wotever, its the simple fact that she just hasnt bothered with any of us, my partner or my son, for months and months on end and i just know that when september is here she will be wanting to see the baby and i really do not want her to, nor do i see why she should when she dont seem bothered now.

Me and dp have had some serious rows about her and i always end up reminding him that she will not have anything to do with the baby. I just wanted to know what u all thought about this , is anyone else in a similar predicament?