my mums an alcoholic but would never ever admit it. she drinks around 2 large bottles of wine a night. she says she doesnt have a problem and if you ever mention it or the "A" word then your lifes not worth living. sundays are the worst as she starts drinking when she's cooking the sunday lunch so around 12 and then wont finish til about 11pm so you can imagine! she gets very nasty and looks for an argument when she's had a drink. she doesnt remember anything the next day. she doesnt get hangover she just says she has a "cold". she got very drunk on sunday and phoned my nan and was particularly nasty. when she's sober she's lovely, lovely mum anf grandmother but when she's drunk you just have to agree with her and stay out of her way.

she started drinking when i was 3. never gone on to stronger stuff, just the wine and only ever drinks in the evening (apart from sundays) so 22 years now.

amy xxxx 

My Mum was an alcoholic she past away 8 years ago.

I would recommend  Al Anon, you would be amazed at how much having an alcoholic or even an aclohol dependant in the family affects everyone

Hi

My dad is an alcoholic, has been for as long as i can remember - i honestly cant remember him not having a drink problem and over the last 10 years it has progressed and has been very hard to watch - he is in total denial and wont address it - me, my and my brother have started going to Al Anon meetings which is a support group for the loved ones of alcoholics and have found it a help, its nice to be able to talk openly with others going through the same sadness, frustrations etc -you can find your nearest one online - hth - xxx

Hi hope you dont mind me posting but i felt as though i had to tell you about my mum she has been an alchoholic for the last 17 years some years being worse than others i too thought she would stop after her alchoholic boyfriend died but instead she just got another a few months after he died and she is now worse than ever she admits that she is but doesnt seem to care she has only seen my baby girl twice since being born after she wanted to hold her but couldnt even walk in a straight line herself i just couldnt let her i feel bad as my baby is now 5 mths and my mum is missing out but we cant blame ourselves its my mums choice to live the way she does x

My mum is one too and has been fot at least 13 years. In january this year she was rushed into hospital where doctors found her brain had shrunk by 2 inches and her liver is 80% dead due to her alcholisim. I hadnt been in her life for a good couple of years and found out by chance that she had been in hospital for 5 weeks already by that point. I did go to the hospital and it was a major shock at the image infront of me, a woman of 49 in a nappie and incoherent. I supported her for 6 solid weeks thinking that now she was at this point she would stop. She convinced everyone she was going to and did want to. I personally had a meeting with a addictions doctor and explained that 4 years previous her son had to come and live with me when he was 5 and i was 21, when i say had i mean it was me or the care system. On the day she was discharged from hospital after being told of her failing health and being deemed terminally ill i opend up her medication carrier bag to find a bottle of marks and sparks champagne hidden in there. I relised then that she would never stop. Due to other trauma in my childhood from her [neglect/abuse/] i havent seen her since then and now am waiting for the call that i may never get to tell me she is gone....

My step dad is one.

I knew he was at 14!!! My mum lives in her own world where he isn't even though he has been treated for it, he even burst his panceas!!!!!!! He said he was one about 4 years ago but still isn't sobber at all.

It is very hard to deal with and not a good place  for your sister to be. Have you pointed out that if SS found out she may lose her DD? She needs to admit she has a problem before it can be dealt with. Have you ever asked her to give up drinking for lent just to prove she hasn't got a problem? If you have to have a drink and can't go 24hrs with out one that's when it's a problem.

I ended up on anti depressants, under the school pyscologist at 17, dropped out of my a levels to get a job so I could leave home. I say sorry for every thing because I programed my self to do it at home from the age of 10 as every thing was my fault even the weather according to my Step dad!!!! It was better than the verbal and some times physical abuse(fists). You need to ask your sister if your mum is a nice or nasty drunk to decide how best to help her.

Emma

thats what i thought,i never really thought it was as serious as it was til i started putting it into writing.looking at it, its obvious its not not normal behaviour.my sisters have said things to her before about her drinking but as i said she gets defensive and cries.her dad and sister died a year or two ago of alcohol problems ,you would think that it would have shocked her enough to stop but it hasnt.she always says...i like my glass of wine at night,but its not 1 its several after going to the pub. theres an alcohol counsellor down my doctors i may ask advice.thanks for answering and as you say its hard.i guess its better to say something than let her kill herself.its hard when you dont realise you have a problem i suppose.

hi hun, i totally sympathise with how you're feelin, my mums an alcoholic. this is such a difficult topic for anyone to talk about let alone when it's your own mum! this is an issue me & my 3 brothers have had to deal with our whole lives but my mum has always tried to be honest with us.  the fact that your mum is defensive about her drinking implies that there probably is a problem but this needs to be an issue that your mum acknowledges herself and that's 'supposed' to be the hardest point.

i know how completely difficult this will be but try and talk to her about  her drinking.  i'm not sayin she will be pleased to hear it but this isn't just about your mum, but also the 14yr old.  drinking problems destroy lives and its often the family that are severley affected.  my mums drinking was triggered by undiagnosed manic depression (it was her way of coping!) is there somethin that your mum is tryin to deal with, talkin always helps even if you don't realise it!

i don't want to waffle but i want you to know that you're not alone! if you find it too hard to talk to your mum about this, is their someone elsew ho can help you? 'a problem shared is a problem halved'

been thinking about posting this for ages ,just for advice. my mums drinking seems totally overtaking her life.she lives for the pub,she has 2 part time jobs totalling about 5hrs a day then as soon as shes finished she drags my stepdad straight to the pub every day.she always seems so vacant.dont really bother much with dd.i have to make all effort to see or phone and when i do she dont say much or seems like shes in a hurry .shes moody and really offhand with people(short answers or just answering with attiude)she dont drink in day but has about 4 pints in pub then just sits in her room alone and fills up glass after glass of wine.she hardly eats as shed rather be out.shes 47 so maybe a lot of it is menapause?i dont know what to do as i dont want to offend her by saying anything,also she got upset when my sister said something and said you all went out when u was younger,i didnt...im making up for it now etc...the thing is she has a 14yr old whos always alone or up her friends

sorry for rant its more therapy just for writhing this and getting it off my chest x