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A question for grandparents about not treating all grandchildren the same

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  1. 4/3/10 18:55

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    Me and future hubby have 2 children aged 2 and 18 weeks. Also df has 2 older children aged 11 and 9. His parents have always been really OTT with my step children and very controlling when they spent the week end with us, when i got pregnant with my eldest they found a reason to fall out with me and have done ever since, as a result they have not seen our dd (2) for a totall of 17 months out of 24. fil hasn't even met our 18 week old son as he refuses to come to our house and has banned me from theirs!! mil caused a row in our house at xmas and refuses to come again only been 3 times since ds was born and also they will not come to our wedding on 8th may this year.

    They have step kids alot more than we do (df ex figured out from kids there was a prob and has played on it!) even taken them abroard but wouldnt even let my step kids bring back a little something for my dd (b4 ds was born) but made sure df had a gift and all of their mothers side of the family! things like this have happened ever since dd was born.

    df takes his older 2 to their house and doesn't talk about me or our children. I know its difficult for him but still!!!!!! my mil and fil are a nightmare and i hate they way they treat my children so so differnt from my step children even thought they all have the same dad! i really am not a horrible person, they just dont like that i have never let them take over with my kids like they have done with my step kids.

  2. 19/2/10 23:29

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    I am 1 of four and for the whole of our lives the 4 of us have been treated very differently by my nan (on my moms side) basically she favoured our eldest brother and we all felt it even at a young age & as we got older we have made our own minds up and have lost contact with her, apart from our prodigal brother of course!! she still keeps in contact with him!! we haven't seen her in 7 years. In her eyes she doesn't think she has done anything wrong but our memories seem to be much clearer than hers. I hope I'm wrong but going from my experience this will never change!!! She will always treat your children differently for whatever reasons she has!! Have you confronted her over this?? Personally from my experience I wouldn't ever give her the opportunity to do it again - your son will feel it for ever.

    Good Luck

  3. 21/1/10 22:23

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    Thank you for your comments.  I know you are right.  . He hasnt bothered visiting them since Christmas and I cant bring myself to speak to my mum at the moment as I just feel total anger when I think of how they made him feel over Christmas.  Your also right that they are lucky to have four grandchildren that they see regularly.  Im the only one with children in my family so I cant understand it.  Im sure about one thing though, and that is, if im lucky enough to have grandchildren they will all be treated the same.  Thanks again girls.

  4. 31/12/09 09:54

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    I agree with PP . your parents need to realize they should all be treated the same!!


  5. 30/12/09 22:29

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    you need to confront this head on speak to your parents about it tell them how you feel about it and ask them why they do this .

    poor boy i know how it feels my nan was the same with my brothers and i she had her fav and the rest just got ignored or critisised .

    it isnt fair they do this to you or your boy and it needs to be sorted , unfortunatly you cant force them to like him ect but if they cant hide there feelings in front of him its up to you to decide what to do about it .

    if it was my parents who did this i would tell them they all get treat the same or not at all !! point out to them how lucky they are to have 4 beautiful grandsons and there are a lot of grandparents out there because of different circumstances dont get to see or treat there grandkids .

  6. 30/12/09 00:36

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    i am really at my wits end!  i have 4 lovely boys who i adore.  im so upset at the way one of my boys is singled out by my own parents and treated differently to his brothers.  its gone on ever since he was born (he is now 12).  they will go to the end of the earth for the others but everything is such an effort when it comes to him.  little things like buying expensive presents for the others and not for him.  it looks so obvious and he must feel it because i do!  i try to make up for it but at the end of the day im sick of him being upset.  i sent him with his elder brother to visit my parents yesterday, only for him to be home within 10 minutes because my mum had had a go at him because of a bike that had broken belonging to his brother that he had used because his had a puncture!  not hello how are you like she said to my eldest!


    surely grandparents treat all grandchildren the same or am i wrong?


    ive tried to say something in the past but nothing has changed.  my own sister told me that she knew they didnt like him.  he has never done anything to them to make them be like this.*** src="../../smiley/msn/sad_smile.gif" alt="" />

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