Advice on what happens after a caesarean/bonding please x
- Forums
- Caesarean births
- Advice on what happens after a caesarean/bonding please x
-
5/9/08 23:55
hi, all the best to you xx
for me, i got pregnant whilst depressed, there was a 9 year age gap between my second and the bump and i was horrified (the dad is also a depressive but far nuttier than me, luckily not involved with us now). straight away i was talking about having him adopted, i survived the pregnancy with no medication and my third c section, but first elective one, was arranged. everything went well, i was the first to go in that day because of my mental health and they gave him straight to me, i had a hug and a kiss and they weighed him. i did breast feed for a few months, he is now 23 months and doing fab. we had a day apart today, he went to nursery 9 - 3 and i got sooo many kisses when he got home. theo's birth was amazing, so relaxed and he was born on the friday and i went home on the sunday tea time (i am a single mum, i needed to get home for the older 2).
-
3/9/08 19:33
Thank you SO much for all your positive and honest replies. It really has made me worry less about the option of an elective c-section. I think one thing that stands out is to write a birth plan and tell your consultant what you want (i.e. to see the baby straight away - and barring any emergancies with the baby, for it to be handed to my dh and for it to be near me while I am being sewn and cleaned up.) I really appreciate all your comments and feel that I am able to make a decision about what birth I would like based upon my consultant's recomendations. I really cant thank you enough for putting your experiences across and thank god for this forum putting an honest but positive side to caesarean's. Thank you x.
Kitty (& Billie the bump13+4)
-
3/9/08 02:24
I had an emergency caesarean after a couple of days and nights in labour. I got to 10cm very slowly but lo was still way up in the uterus with her head facing the wrong way (like she was looking up as opposed to head being tucked into chest). Anyway, I fought the decision to have a c-section at the time as I was so convinced I'd have a natural birth and had only had gas and air. But I was really too tired to put up much of a fight and I felt completely out of control anyway, I really didn't have a choice. I didn't see the gravity of the situation at the time, I just felt like a failure. So I unwillingly accepted my fate but it all happened so quickly I had no time to make any requests. That's why I'm sure electives are better.
Before I knew it the baby was out and whisked off immediately. I do remember seeing a blur of a face covered in blood but she was definitely not held up for me to see. We had to ask the sex, I thought they would just tell you. Anyway, my husband had to go and get the baby's stuff from the car as we had come over from a birthing unit (me by ambulance) and so even he missed the checks and the weighing. He had to take his scrubs off which meant he could not come in again so while I was being sewed up, I could see him from afar in the doorway holding a bundle. I was too busy trying not to shake to worry about holding her and felt vaguely pleased that my dh got to be the first to hold her. I then fell asleep from tiredness and the next I remember I was in the recovery area and my dh gave me the bundle. A tiny cross-looking face covered in dried blood with a hat on, fully-clothed. I did feel quite detached like I wasn't really sure it came out of me. I decided to breastfeed but no one really helped me. My breast was still numb so I couldn't feel a thing, but I think that was a good thing! I fed her cos I felt that was the right thing to do not because I felt any love.
I always thought I would fall in love with my baby the second it popped out and I certainly felt so attached to it (her) during my pregnancy. And I have always loved kids and babies. But I didn't fall in love straight away. It took 2-3 days and I never thought that would happen to me. I remember I thought she was really ugly. It didn't help that she got very bad jaundice straight away and had jet black hair like her father, because I am ginger with very white skin and my baby looked Indian. I couldn't believe she was mine. When my mum saw her, I thought she'd be disappointed, but she said she looked like a Spanish princess! She told me later she thought she was gorgeous but I don't think she expressed that at the time.
Anyway, I don't mean to depress you or make you think that is normal. I think I was just in shock over the birth and had unrealistic expectations of perfection. I love my daughter to bits now and did from around 3 days onwards. I also think she is the most gorgeous girl that ever there was! I was even disappointed when her amazing black hair all fell out and it grew back mousy brown to go with her non-jaundiced skin, she looks a lot more like a daughter of mine. When I look back at a photo of her taken in the recovery room, my first view of her, it is a different picture to that in my head. My perceptions at the time were very distorted from tiredness and shock. But I doubt you would get that at all from an elective.
Anyway, I think the most appropriate advice for birth and yet the hardest, is to expect the unexpected!
-
2/9/08 21:39
forgot to say...I didn't feel left out at all and although with my son, it took a little longer to recover, this time around I've found things a lot easier and even managed a little trip into town today 6 days after the op!! I have been told electives are a lot easier to recover from apparently.
-
2/9/08 21:35
Hi there..I had an elective section last Wednesday, (Had an emerg, section with my son 3 years ago) Once our daughter was born, she was wrapped up and checked over, then handed to my husband. They then went to the recovery room while they finished off sewing me up and then I was wheeled into the recovery room to meet them. She was then handed to me and I have to say I had no trouble with bonding with her - it was instant
and haven't looked back since..... xx -
2/9/08 18:09
i had a c-section 5 weeks ago and i didnt get to hold my baby because she had spina bifida and had to be took away but i held later on in the day, i had to ave an anesthetic so i didnt c her when she was born
-
2/9/08 12:16
I had an emergency s-section after about 70 hours in labour - I was 10cm dilated and having constant contractions, but the labour didn't progress, plus my baby Yani was still way up in my womb, showing no interest in making his way out.The section went really quickly, but as I was that bewildered by the whole thing, and so full of drugs that I didn't quite know exactly what was going on - when the surgeon lifted my baby over the screen to show me I was looking the other way! So I didn't get to see him, but I heard him crying - which was nice - and I immediately started crying too.My husband cut the cord and held the baby right next to me whilst the surgeon finished the op - My uterus was exhausted by a whole weekend of contracting, so he had to manipulate it with more drugs to make it start contracting back down again... This took about two hours.My baby was born at 4.32am, but I didn't get to the ward until 7am, as soon as I got into bed they placed my baby in my arms and I began breast feeding.It sounds like an awfully long time to go without holding my baby - but it all went so quickly, I don't remember worrying about bonding or anything - He latched on to my breast immediately with no problems - and I felt very happy, very relaxed and very well looked after.Througout the whole labour/c-section I don't remember feeling scared or nervous once - even when talk of the c-section began.My only concern was about having an epidural - I was really against this idea to begin with as I wanted a completely natural birth - for the first 70 odd hours I just had Gas & Air which made me feel strangely happy! Obviously I had to have an epidural for the section, but once they injected this into me I felt the most amazing relief ever! It's amazing how I was in ridiculous pain one minute - then the next I felt so good!The pain relief they give you during the recovery is fine for if you're breast feeding so you don't have to worry about that - once you're back on your feet after the epidural wears off, you'll be surpised by how much you can actually do (albeit very slowly!)
-
1/9/08 19:56
I had a c section in Feb and dd was wrapped in a towel to keep her warm then placed on my chest while they sewed me up. Don't think the sewing up took any longer than 20 mins at most, in fact in seemed much much quicker than that, maybe 10 mins. Obviously I couldn't actually hold onto her as I was still numb but she was literally face to face with me as the rest of my body was covered / behind the curtain. Dh had a quick cuddle and then the mw had to put her in a cot to take us into recovery where I was able to hold her properly and start to breastfeed. Put in your birth plan that you want to hold your baby straight away and there shouldn't be a problem. x
-
31/8/08 21:24
I had a very traumatic 20 hour labour which resulted in an emergency c-section. The surgeon informed us afterwards due to a small birth canal any future children would have to be by c-section as I am unable to deliver a baby naturally, which is bigger than 5-6lb. The surgeon and the midwives were all apologetic and saying how disappointed I must be with this news. I have to say that I was absolutely relieved with this news and am a lot happier that I will be able to have my next baby in a lot less stress free and painful manner and I feel more in control. (During the 20th hour I was in so much pain and my lol was completely wedged and no where near the birth canal I had thought that my husband and I would have to adopt, as I couldn't go through it again). Now I know I will be having a c-section next time the relief is amazing.
With regards to bonding with my lol, my husband brough him over straight away for a cuddle and whilst I couldn't pick him up myself for a couple of days, everyone helped in placing him on the bed next to me to feed him on my side and have a cuddle and sleep together. I didn't personally feel that the bonding with my lol was disrupted in anyway and in fact I now have a lovely little boy who is a complete cuddle bunny and is a definite mummy's little boy.
-
31/8/08 20:27
Thank you so much. I really am getting lots of positive feelings about it all and what I initially thought I may be loosing - I think my dh will gain (Iyswim) which I think is a really important thing as its easy for dads to feel left out in the early days and I know my dh did with his previous children. Thanks you ((hugs)) Kitty x
-
31/8/08 20:22
hi Kitty
I had a planned c-section 3 years ago with my dd and it was a very positive experience for me, when she was born all they did was clean my dd and the handed her to my dh but then he held her right next to my head on the advice of the doctors and midwives in the theatre and I spent time talking to her while the stitched me up and then my dh carried her to recovery at which point I held her, I have to say we have a very strong bond but she also has avery strong bond with my dh aswell so it can be a real positive thing for everyone involved!!
If you are at all worried explain to the doctors what you would like to happen, just because you are having a c-section you can still have some input on what happens.
I am expecting my 2nd child in Feb 09 and am probably have another c-section, hope this helps
Tracey x 14+3
-
31/8/08 20:04
I didnt mean to imply that ladies who have a c-section dont bond with their baby. I just dont know anyone who has had a c-section to ask and I can only go on my own experience where although the vaginal labour was long and arduous and so was the recovery, the moment that they placed my dd (mess and all) onto my chest, it all seemed not to matter and I just loved those first few minutes. About fifteen minutes later they took her and clened her up and dealt with my stiches and then gave her back to me ten minutes later and I fed her. The only other time she left me was when I had a bath and my dh had her.
I have seen some video's on youtube and they seem to wisk the baby away to clean them first and one video - this took ten minutes and I just felt dredfull that the mum was just laying there not seeing any of this. I have also read that the finishing off of the c-section takes about 30-40 minutes and I imagine that seems the longest time of your life when you just want a cuddle and to start being a mum.
From the posts that have replied, you have reassured me that, although I'm not gonna have the imidiate skin to skin contact as I did with my dd; this doesnt matter and if I make sure the medical team and my dh know I want to see the baby as much as I can (proving there are no problems), then its not a problem. This forum is really positive about c-section's and thats why I wanted to ask my question as I hoped I would get the answers I have got. its difficult to find that positivity anywhere else because most articles you read or people that you speak to, seem to have an opinion that its not the best thing and that unless you or your baby are in absolute danger, a natural birth is the way to go.
Im sorry if I upset anyone, my question certianly wasnt meant that way.
Kitty
-
31/8/08 19:58
I was the first person to hold my 2 section babies, other than the surgeon. I had skin to skin contact within seconds.
Ask for it in the birth plan. Talk to consultant beforehand and tell the surgical team at start of operation.
-
31/8/08 18:06
Hello, im 19+ 4 pregnant with my 4 baby and will be my 4th section, im just wondering if im misinterpreting the 'bonding' ... Iv always felt bonded to my babies starting from the minute i see a positive pregnancy test and the feelings only increasing when i first see little one at the 1st scan and then when they start kicking... as iv had 3 experiences so far of c-section deliverys i can honestly say that the team looking after you completely understands your need to be as close as possible as soon as possible to your baby and will always make sure this happens so long as there are no complications with either mum or baby...
-
31/8/08 13:17
Kitty
I had a section 8 weeks ago and at no point was the baby taken from me. When oliver was born he was passed to dp who held him and i could touch Oliver and kiss him. Oliver stayed with us the whole time was being stiched up etc. Then when it was all finished Oliver was placed in my arms in the bed and i was wheeled out of the theatre with babe in my arms while my parner went and got changed out of the theatre gown. It was amazing eperience and have had no problem bonding
xxxxx
-
31/8/08 09:29
Wow, maybe if you ask they will give the baby straight to you (as long as its ok.) Although I apprecaitae that Dads gonna have to take it at some point while they sort you out.
-
31/8/08 09:16
i didnt get to hold my dd until an hour after, the mw showed her to me after they had weighed her then my dp held her until i was stitched and cleaned! when i got into the recovery room the mw gave her to me for skin to skin contact and she latched on immediately!
i was abit worried about the bonding thing coz i wanted her strate on me as soon as id given birth but i was rushed for emergency c-section so all plans went out the window, but we bonded fine! i think it doesnt matter realy how long coz baby will always know you from living inside you for 9 months!
my mum had a planned c-section (due to baby having a bad heart) last year and they put her baby strate on her even though she was realy ill!
-
31/8/08 08:37
THis is all soo helpfull. Thank you. Obviously I will be led by what my consultant suggests but you are putting my mind at rest a little more. I will miss the initial skin to skin contact when they are all still messy (which i didnt mind) but ultimately I wont have to go through the hours of trauma like last time and have the horrid memories and im sure the time flies when they are sewing you back up and I suppose it keeps the dh involved (which lets face it - in the early days - is difficult - especially if you are breast feeding!) Any more comments/stories welcome and thanks again.
Kitty (13+1) x
-
30/8/08 23:53
I have a long labour with not much movement on the cervix front so it was decided to go to c-section like the other ladies she was passed to my DH and I got to kiss her and have a quick look. Andy took her off while I was sewn up. My advice would be that the main thing is getting your little one out of you safely and with no traumatic memories for you and your baby! I never had any skin to skin contact and I never breast fed (didn;t appeal to me) and I have bonded with my baby fine. It seems to me that sometimes because of a horrible labour mums don't bond that well either! so why risk it? You know whats coming and you are going to be very tense cos of that last labour. Don't feel like you are wimping out by taking the section. Good luck
-
30/8/08 22:38
i had me 2nd section 2 weeks ago and this time baby was struggling to breath so i just got to kiss his head and then he went to scbu until thursday ,i thought i was going to struggle with bonding even though i was in a room of my own i could hear all the other babies and felt so strange cos i didn't have mine ,but then Thursday morning he was brought into me and i just loved him and stared at him i haven't had any trouble at all .x x x
A caesarean may be an option for me for this birth as the birth I had with my DD was very traumatic. It was nearly ten years ago and it has taken me a very long time to even consider having another child - due to the birth. My current hospital is going to get the notes from previous hospital and de-brief me about if my memories were correct or if I was just being a big wuss!! (Although they have said that if I said it was awful - IT WAS!) Its really nice that they are taking my fears seriously but my question and only concern with a c-section is how long after do you get to properly hold your baby? With my DD, despite the long labour, she was immediately placed on me and I had skin to skin contact straight away and started feeding soon after. I have done a bit of research and it looks like they will hand to dad and then have to clean me up - how long before you really get to hold them and did you feel 'left out' or have any trouble bonding?
Sorry for the long post - any advice or comments appreciated.
Thanks,
Kitty x