TBH he's thrown a wobbler, your DF can't win either way, if his natural dad hasn't made a fuss and no one else has then why should it ruin your day. Could you or your DF talk to his mum and try and get him to see sense. When are you getting married hun? If you have a little while, I would carry on planning as if their both going to be there and accommodate him and not mention it any further - he may well calm down.

It's yours and DF's day after all, good luck hun

I would say to adoptive dad, that the invite is there, you would love him to be there and for 1 day can he just not turn a blank to other family members for your df's sake.

if he still cant do it, then thats his choice, you cant do anymore.

your df needs to tell (adoptive) dad that wether he likes it or not you will be having you sil as bridesmaid and his real dad will be coming to the wedding, tell himt that theyre all invited and if he doesnt like it tuff. if he cant grin and bear it bein in same company as them for a couple of hours then thats his problem. but he should for your and you df';s sake

were having the same problem, df's mum & dad split when he was 2. the still dont get on now and hes 22, mil doesnt get on with df aunty ( on his dads side) my sister doesnt get on with his cousin. but weve told everyone that they will all be invited, and if theyre is any argument,fights,b***ing snide remarks or anything on the day that we dont care who it is they will be asked to leave. if they cant put their troubles aside for one day  then they need to grow up xx

Thanks for the replies.

His problem is, his wife lets him get away with everything. He is such an overpowering person and he really intimidates everyone.Tuts at you if you pronounce a word wrong, shhhhhh if you talk slightly louder than he likes, shouts at his wife if she dares to get up and dance, or tries to have an opinion.

I know he will hate my family (havent met yet due to a 300mile gap) because they are quite loud and outgoing. GGGRRRRRR i really hope he doesnt come, the day will be so much more relaxed and happy.

well I hope things calm down for you but yes it is typical.  I'm just having 16 of us to the ceremony and meal which is just close family.  Thinking this would be easier lol - well it's 4 months to go tomorrow and DF's sister has fallen out with her mum and this has gone on for 2 months so who knows if they will be speaking on the day, his sister has just split up from her partner so he now won't be coming and my brother's relationship with his girlfriend is so on off on off I have no idea whether she will be coming either!  Just trying to let it go over my head at the moment!

Let him throw his toys out of the pram if he wants. Stick to your guns and have who you want. If he won't come because things aren't going his way he'll only get worse if you let him away with this now. He can't possibly expect your DF to ignore his family- especially as he's always been in touch with them- they haven't just come back on the scene or anything!

Well df was adopted by his mums husband when he was 8, but he has always still been close to his natural dad and calls him dad, he also calls the man who adopted him dad.

His dad (adoptive) doesnt allow df to even mention his natural dad or he will fly off the handle, he (adoptive dad) has also fallen out with df's auntie (mums side) and he has said he will not be coming to our wedding if either of them are there, i personally would love him not to come as he's a complete ass but df wont allow that.

I am also having my sil as my bridesmaid (natural dads side) so his adoptive dad is furious

he wont just accept it and get on with things, hes just refusing to go and upsetting everyone. bloody families