M & S`s Journey xx
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- M & S`s Journey xx
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5/11/08 11:15
Good luck with the school run at 11.10am hun, hope it goes as well as.
Hope the card i sent was ok, just wish i could have done more xx
Will try the cheese hun, luckily i love it lol!!
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5/11/08 10:46
Thankyou hun for making me feel human! I need to know how my friends are doing hun and life does go on hun i know cause here i am!
Cheese is suppose to ease heartburn. Cut a wedge off and just nibble on it. Have you been to physio about your SPD they do help babe.
i didnt go over the school on my own hun Andy came with me but i think it was a step in the right direction! I am however going to try and go over on my own at 11.10 -
5/11/08 09:38
Well done hun i am so proud of you. It must be very hard but you are better than these people. You poor thing having to do the school run but hopefully it may get easier and keep a bit of normality going for you.
I am fine hun, suffering really bad with heartburn even though i am taking stuff for it and am also in a lot of pain especially at night with this SPD. I shouldn't be complaning though. Please let me know if you prefer me not to talk about it with you though hun as the last thing i want to do is upset you.
Really appreciate that you are still coming on hun to see how we are all doing and still here to support us, it really means a lot xx
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5/11/08 09:32
Hun i have just read the posts and am shocked. I can't believe that someone could say something like that. It looks like it was a very small minority on there which i know is unacceptable but you have so many great friends and a lot people supporting you hun. How dare they upset you at a time like this, you have so much other important stuff to be thinking about so please please ignore them and think of all your friends here that you have.
You are a great friend, a very brave lady and we all think that you are great so please don't eve think you don't belong here on Bounty as you are a great support to everyone and you of all people deserve to be here xx
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5/11/08 09:30
Thankyou so much hun, xxx
i am not going anywhere hun i have more friends here than the jealous people on thos threads! Im here for all my friends too!
I have done my 1st trip over the school today and it was awful, but i did it!
How are you feeling hun? (i need some normality)
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5/11/08 09:19
Aww hunni, i am so sorry that this has upset you. I nominated you not only for what you have gone through but because you are a great friend and have always been there for me. I just wanted to show that i really appreciate everything you have done for me and i know a lot of the other ladies on here think you are great too.
I know its easier said than done but please ignore them as like you said you are going through enough without having to deal with this. They are not important you and your family are. Please hun stay strong you are so brave i really feel awful knowing that this has upset you, you deserve so much more than this.
I haven't read the posts so will go and have look to see what they are posting.
Massive (((HUGS))) hun and if you need me you know where i am xxxx
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5/11/08 01:31
hiya hun i know its late i just couldnt sleep.
i have been on that nomination thread thingy i saw that you voted for me. thankyou.
but some of the posts on there have really upset me hun. i feel like they have been aimed at me! i have snapped back and i have had my say but i feel really bad
i dont think i deserve that nomination as alot seem to think that i have a chance because of a sympathy vote! i so wish no one voted for me now. i have enough to get through without the crap of those nasty people!i know alot have voted for me hun and i am so grateful but i now feel like s***! i never asked for it and what is £100 when all i want i can't have
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4/11/08 15:30
Hi hun,
Thanks for the update.
It sounds lovely in the best way possible and really hope all goes well for you. You talk away you know i am here to listen.
It must be very hard to know that you have to let go hun and i can't imagine what you are going through. I am always thinking of you and will light a candle on Tuesday for little Callum xxxx
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4/11/08 14:40
Hiya hun
I am so missing being normal! I feel like all i have to talk about now are the arrangements for our sonxxx anyway..........................
We have been to the crem today. They have a beautiful fenced off garden just for babies. It is in the alice of wonderland theme. There is a gazebo to put your teddies and your cards and things in. And they have mushrooms with the babys remembrance plaques on. So we have decided to have his plaque there. I am very worried about scattering his ashes though! I feel i cant let go!
I just cant wait until thursday when i can go see my boy again xxx
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4/11/08 08:18
Hi hun,
Yeah you told me by txt hun but thanks for letting me know. Really hope all goes well and like i said i wish i was closer by so that i could be there for you.
Don't blame you getting him cremated like you said for someone to destroy the grave would be horrendus and just add to the heartbreak.
Stay strong hun and know that i am always here for you xx
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3/11/08 23:26
Hi Hun
I can't remember if i told you?
I just thought i would let you know that Callum's funeral is on tuesday 11th November (rememberance day) and the cars will leave my house at 1.40.
We are having him cremated because the cemetry by us keeps getting destroyed. We are going through so much at the moment i couldnt cope with having his grave destroyed xxx
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3/11/08 13:34
Stepup, would you consider joining us??. We all want to be there for Maz and seeing as she probably won't be posting much we could all support each other?.
I understand if you don't want to, i will just come in here more often to ceck on you x.x.x
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3/11/08 13:19
Good to hear hun!
Good luck with all the arrangements and keep in touch, i will still be here waiting for you xx
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2/11/08 19:05
Thankyou so much hunni xxx
i have alot to sort out over the next couple of days but as soon as i get details of Callums funeral and what not i will let you know xxx
I dont need to explain how i feel hun i know you know babe. Ill be back xxx
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2/11/08 16:03
Hun i have had a look at your photo of little Callum and he is truly amazing. I am sat here so upset for you as this should never of happened. I think you are amazing woman and he is a beautiful little boy xxxx
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2/11/08 15:45
Maz hunni don't you worry about upsetting me! I was just sad for you and your family babe. I have done nothing but think about you since this has happened and my heart goes out to you it really does.
Thanks for letting me know what happened as i said i am here for you when you are ready and always will be. You are great friend and a very brave woman. I am just so sorry that this has happened to you and your family.
If you need anything you know where i am and i understand that it may take a while before you want to post again but please keep in contact by txt i would really like that.
Massive (((HUGS))) to you and your family and sleep tight little Callum xxxx
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1/11/08 22:48
Thankyou so much ladies and stepup hun im so sorry that i have upset you xxxYes my heart is broke! I am sat here crying at all the lovley messages people have left all over bounty!
I just can't believe what has happened!
I was going to bed at 12am thursday night but as i stood up i was in pain like i was constipated. I tried to go toilet but nothing so i ran a bath hoping to get rid of the pain! as i ran the bath i had a heavy loss of red blood so i just rang the delivery suite and went straight up!
When i got there they thought my waters had gone as the blood was very light and pink. They then confirmed i was in early stages of labour and gave me steroids to help babys lungs as he still had a hearbeat! As i described the pain i was in the baby specialist realised it was a placenta abrahsion (sp) so they started to prepare me for the worst and for theatre for a c-section. They got Callums special heated bed ready but when they tried to find his hearbeat again he had gone! " scans later and there was definatly no heartbeat! So i was faced with the fact i would have to give birth to my beautiful sleeping angel!
Yesterday was so hard! They gave me the 1st pessarys at 11am and i started in labour by 1pm and boy was it hard! They tried to make it as painfree as they could but it wasn't and all i wanted to do was feel the pain and just die
after a very heartbreaking time i born my beautifull baby Callum at 5.44pm and he is truley perfect! he weighed 0.830 which is just over 1lb. He has everything he is totally beaytiful! Little fingernails and all. He is a miniture of his daddy and hair same colour as mine!
Im so sorry to come on here and post this xxx
I have cuddled him most of last night and they bought him back today to me as i was heartbroken (still am!) I just don't know how to move forward.
Give me a bit of time hun and i will be back to carry on posting till you have you little one hun. i will txt you in the mean time x
I cant thankyou enough for your support. I will be posting his footprints and his pic in my pictures if you do want to look but i wont be upset if you dont xxx
All my love Maz xxx
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1/11/08 18:50
Just bumping up hunni to let you know that i am still thinking about you and still can't believe it could happen to such a great friend.
Thank you for updating me last night by txt, i really wish i could do or say something but know i can't. I don't want to bombard you with txts and bother you babe as thats the last thing you need right now. I expect a lot of people are contacting you but i feel that i should wait until you are ready hun and you know i will be here for you. I just don't want you to think i am not contacting you or anything its just that i don't want to get in the way!
You are such a great friend and have always been there for me no matter how small or big my problems have been and i really appreciate it. You and your family are constantly in my thoughts babe. RIP little Callum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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31/10/08 13:22
well i thought i would pop by here although maz as txt me and i have txt her back i really feel like i need to come here where i know she posts it just goes to show that these things do happen and the whole journey of ttc and then the pregnancy is one of the hardest journeys in the world for some and i know maz really hasnt had experiences with this easy i really am stuck for words just the same sorrys and i cant begin to imagine how you am feeling but i need to say that i am thinking of you and will be for a long time this is one of the biggest shocks to bounty and i know so many people love you you have given some great advice also to me myself xxxxxx
god bless maz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
R.I.P baby callum
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31/10/08 11:50
sending you hugs maz your in our thoughts
thankyou for letting us know stepup
Hi hun,
Really pleased we have got back in touch, can't believe you are 15 weeks already and have had your scan today, how exciting.
Now we have our own thread so that we can catch up and keep in touch!!
Like i said i am just a bit further on than you but not by much, i am fairly new to this so will have to have a nosey at the DIJ forum, wish i was in the same one as you!!
Look forward to chatting xx