Can`t get surestart maternity grant
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- Can`t get surestart maternity grant
30/9/08 07:37
30/9/08 07:35
i was 21 when i fell pregnant with dd, (not that that matters?) but was working full time, thought things were good with dp, then he left me a few weeks later saying he didnt love me but still wanted to be there, the day after it happened i got up as normal went to work, carried on working full time up until 35 weeks, bought most things myself (ok went overboard but i was paying for them out of what i earned, dp didnt buy much up until the last few weeks after me moaning at him about it) i was facing being a single mum, we were going to look for our own place together before all that happened, but i decided to stay at my parents and share my bedroom with my baby (still decorated blue from when my brothers had that bedroom nice colour for me and my baby girl lol) it was BLOODY hard getting through those early months on my own, i didnt talk to my parents about what was going on cos i didnt want to upset them or have them worry about me, so i just got on with it, went to work as normal, put on my brave face and made it look like i didnt give a toss - it worked well! my mum said she was surprised how i didnt seem bothered - then i broke down and it all came out - i cried myself to sleep most nights worrying but i knew i had my family and i knew deep down if i had no one that i would cope, the love i felt for my unborn baby kept me going.
Anyway, enough of my life story, there was a point in there somewhere...something about just having to get on woth things and take each day as it comes, i was fortunate enough to pay for my babys thngs BUT if you dont have the money dont be stubborn, accept any help or freebies that are offered to you. loads of people i know buy on ebay aswell saves loads of money - or maybe ask a friend or relative if you can order some bits on a catalogue if they have one, then youonly have to pay so much a week/month, make sure the babys dad helps out aswell, both of you made the baby so you should both support it
27/9/08 18:14
I was pregnant at 16 and my son was born when I was 17. It was a huge shock to both of us and to my parents. Once they got used to the idea and had calmed down they were very supportive of my situation and helped out as much as they could. My sons dad bought a few things at the time, alot was second hand, but i really didnt mind as we didnt have alot of money at the time. We got alot of great bargains from car boot sales and friends gave us some stuff too. We were so grateful for everything we had been given. My sons dad was working at the time, he didnt get much but still at least it was something. What im trying to say is im not here to judge as i myself have been in that same situation but please be grateful for whatever people give you or offer you at the end of the day beggars cant be choosers. I am now 29 and married with my 3rd baby on the way. I am no longer with my sons father as that didnt work out.
12+4
27/9/08 17:47
I got so angry whilst reading this post! How dare some people who think there all mature older people pick on at 16 yr old girl because she was having a rant! IF UR MATURE AND WISER THEN U SHULD OF KNOWN BETTER! i HOPE 1 DAY IT WILL BITE U IN UR BACK, HOW ABOUT IF UR CHILDREN TURN 16 N FALL PREG IT HAPPENS SORRY BUT ITS THE FACTS OF LIFE!!
Im 18 yr old and a strong beliver of 'it doesnt matter how old r u aslong as ur mature n wise enuff n ready to accept reasonabilty' A 16 YR OLD GAL CULD MAKE A BETTER MUM THEN A 30 YR OLD IT DOESNT MATTER BOUT AGE IT DEPENDS ON THE INDIVDUAL PERSON! AND THE WAY U 'MATURE WISER LADIES' PICKED ON A 16 YR OLD I WULD HONESTLY THINK 2X ABOUT UR PARENT RESPONABILTY!!!!!! cos u was quick enuff 2 bully a 16 yr old n dats wot u did!!!!
ADIVCE AND SUPPORT GOES A LONG WAY IN LIFE NO WONDER SOCIETY IS THE WAY IT IS WITH 1MINDED PEOPLE LYK U!!!
27/9/08 14:28
mumoflittled - i agree with you,however sometimes the system is unfair,and u obv think so too,u say about the ppl who sit on their asses and get paid loads n those who work 4 it dont get much help,and this is an indication that the gment is unfair.we arent in economical distress as such,we pay our whole rent,council tax etc,and weve been entitled to some housing benefits for yrs now and have not claimed it due to the fact that we manage n dont want to take the p***.my partner works incredibly hard and i worked p/t before the complications in my preg.i went to college for 2 yrs n did a found degree (my daughter was 2 and i worked v hard for my grades whilst my daughter went to nursery),and ill be goin back in sept when my new childs only 6 months,in order to get a better qualification and job.im not workin at the mo cos im not well enough to with my pregnancy and my mw also agreed with this decision,altho the ultimate choice was mine of course.i claim not other benefits than tax credits!!!i dont agree that ppl get paid to sit at home if they have no reason as to why they do.we arent rich by any stretch but we provide everything my child needs and she doesnt miss out as a result....we go without so she can have!!!yes i will have help from the gment once my childs been born,but i will be goin back to college as soon as i can after that in order to better myself for a career.the system is there to support ppl who need this help,and in turn i will eventually be paying back into the system.i admitted that this might be a selfish way around it,however we all have choices to make,and these may not be good ones,im sure i will pay for the decisions i make but i dont regret my choice regardless of what anyone else says....there r plenty pf ppl worse than me,that sit at home (both partners) and have children and get all sorts of free things cos of the benefits they r on,and these ppl i know r better off than we r,so i can live with myself cos were not doin this!when i fell preg with my first daughter it was a shock,my partner was in n out of jobs,etc.....as soon as i got preg my partner got work,and we saved as best as we could,and he has not stopped workin since.....hes even gone to work when the doc has told him he needs to take wks off cos of a back problem,and suffers thru to make his bread n butter and my hat goes off to him for this,he really takes care of us.there r ppl on my street that say they cant believe how hard he works and hes one of the most hardworkin ppl they no!sorry if i upset u but i dont apologise for the way about ive done things!!!
26/9/08 17:24
your parents should be able to claim the grant from you bcoz your only 16 go on the website and see what it says but you should be able to claim something to help you x
26/9/08 12:50
To the op, your living with your parents so I dont know why you are ranting, you've got a roof over your head, most essentials and you'll be able to keep your baby warm. Im sure your parents won't kick you out or something so get over the £500 you want for your shopping spree, its not going to last forever.
I was reading the poster below me who is saying she was on the fence, I was agreeing at first but when I read the rest of your post sorry to say I began to feel a bit uncomfortable.
I do not think the system for govermental support is unfair, in fact I despise the help some people get, if they don't genuinely require it. Its sickening that some individuals have a child after child and their partners or BOTH sit on their fat asses claiming child tax credits, benefits....the lot.
I really don't get it if your having a baby, and ANOTHER baby and you know your in a bit of a economical distress, then WHY plan the other....OH THERES ALWAYS THE GOVERNMENT ISNT THERE?!!!!!!
My dh earns £22,000 a year we get NO help whatsoever, he works 60 hours and provides for his son and myself. My ds is 2.5 at the moment and I'm not having one anytime soon and were using contraception because that is the SANE thing to do. If we have another we'll come crashing down and will have to rely on the government. We live in our own home and our ds is content and happy. Sorry but the spoilt theory is complete and utter BS. Just because of the fear my son will be spoilt, Im not going to go and get myself pregnant and drench myself into financial turmoil.
Anyway thats just my opinion and I got so angry reading some posts on here. Lots of people work hard out there and pay so much in tax and it goes to all these people who can't use their heads, lack ambition and HEAVILY RELY ON THE GOVERNMENT!
26/9/08 11:13
im on the fence with this thread - i think maybe the fact that help from the g/ment is expected.Sometimes accidents happen,which wont mean ull love ur baby any less,just were careless sometimes and we all do make mistakes.I got preg with my daughter,and i love her soooo much and wouldnt change her for the world,but i certainly should have waited but whats done is done right?Im preg again and yes planned.Me and partner dont have a lot of money.He has his own business and i did work til i got preg then kept havin bleeds and pain,and was gettin told to take time off work,me and boss together decided it was best that i stopped work,and im now glad i did.My partners income is approx £6000 a yr thats it,and tax credits top up the rest,and so i have to rely on the g/ment to help,and it really does help me!Id love to get ssmg but we wont cos were not on higher rate.It does seem a little unfair cos partner works 40 hr wks to keep us above board,and eventually he business will bring in more just it was expanded just a few months ago and so a lot was spent on this,designed to better ourselves.Eventually well pay back into the system a good amount,and im sure well look back and be grateful for the help we got.Sometimes the system is a little unfair in workin out who gets benefit but surely this is for a reason.Like has been said if these benefits werent available maybe ppl wont get readily preg,however,i think thats prob why it isnt available to 16 yr olds otherwise it may encourage young preg maybe???When i got preg with 1st daughter i had no money and was sooo scared,so im sure this girl is terrified.I still dont have much money but decided to have another child,maybe selfish,but extending our family is important,if we waited til we had more money,my duaghter would be a lot older and i dont want her to grow up spoilt as a result of bein an only child,which is apparent at the mo.im sure there r some only children that arent spoilt (ill be careful here).Like has already been said i think theres pressure on ppl buyin loadsa stuff for bubs,but really theres no need.I got my breast pump by the way from tesco in the sale,tommee tippee £10 down from £25 - if u keep ur eye open for bargains this will help.i hope ur preg goes ok,and thank god for the support u do have.Im buyign brand new for this baby,but everything i had for daughter was 2nd hand and theres nothin wrong with that.best of luck!
25/9/08 22:22
I think the word 'selfish' is what has got most people up in arms - and quite rightly so.
25/9/08 22:20
Hi everyone, I fell pregnant at 16 and again at 18 and I was young and silly, I put my hands up and admit that with no family support, I relied on the ssmg (which was £200 at the time) to provide me with some of the essentials I needed. When I was 19 I got a full time job and provided for my family, as there Dad was unreliable and couldnt "keep" a job. I got promoted after a year and was on a good wage, paying alot of tax lol (dont we all)..My point is that maybe this girl is "sponging" off the government now, but the time will come when she puts back in, as a tax payer, what she took out when she gets on her feet and gets a job when she finishes her education, whether it be now or in 5 years time.. I went on to have 2 more children, I now have a wonderful husband who works 2 jobs and pays his taxes, we have put back in alot more than I took out 11 years ago. I am now having my 5th and final child and being sterilized, so is my husband, we support our family on our own and I am grateful for the help I had from the government in my time of need.. This girl might not have the right attitude about it, and I would love people to give me all this stuff she has recieved for her baby, but surely we can support her in her worrying time with kind advice and reassurance, and say what we really think through gritted teeth lol like someone said earlier, bounty is for advice and support, maybe we will need some ourselves in the near future...
good luck to you all xx25/9/08 22:06
stop saying "she is 16"... She's old enough to do the deed, she should be old enough to deal with the outcome.
And no, i do not believe she should be entitled to the grant, i got pregnant at 18, and worked god damn hard to ensure i had everything i needed for my dd, as did dp.... we didnt even apply for the grant, infact, i didnt even know it existed until a friend got it last year.
Someone got her pregnant, where is he to help? Or his family?
Why not sell some of your old stuff on ebay (op)? Anything. Im sur eyou could make SOME money that way, be it £5 or £500, it could all go towards little things for your baby.
25/9/08 21:26
I think people should get off this girls back. Correct me if i'm wrong but isn't bounty about support. She didn't put this on debates, she needed a rant. She's 16, got no money and is pregnant which causes most people to be emotional. I'm in my 30's and both my kids weren't planned but very welcome so accidents do happen and yes we should be more careful but that wasn't what the op was posting about was it.
25/9/08 20:42
Anyway I am not here to debate, there is a whole board dedicated to that. I wanted to offer this girl a little bit of support this is general pregnancy after all.
25/9/08 20:38
I know you can work whilst pregnant! As I have myself upto 38 weeks.
But I asked how far in pregnancy she was, maybe she is 35 weeks+ no-one knows, she did not say. I suggested that this could be a possiblity!!
25/9/08 20:37
Tbh I bet a lot of people spend it on things they WANT also. IMO it has nothing to do with anyone. (By the way I am NOT entitled to it).
She should be entitled to it, and I just don't see why people are jumping on her because she WANTS things.
People that are on benefits most likely buy things they WANT and not need.
But thats life I am afraid.
Yea I do agree she should be greatful of 2nd hand things, borrowed things etc....as babies are expensive.
But you can't tell her how to spend the money that she is entitled too??
25/9/08 20:33
And guess what....it is possible to work whilst pregnant - millions of us have done it to provide for our families. There are lots of temporary seasonal jobs out there at the moment.
This 16 year old needs help, guidance and support. She also needs to learn pretty quickly that life often isn't fair and you can whinge about benefit systems being selfish.
25/9/08 20:30
Advice she wants and advice she has got from people older and wiser than herself. If she got the £500 then reading betweent the lines it wouldn't last long because it would be spent on stuff she doesn't need (just wants) and things that will not be important 6 months down the line. IMO this girl hasn't had anyone giving her words of wisdom as you can from her OP.
25/9/08 19:39
No, people have asked if her boyfriend works because then HE can help to provide the things that she needs for her baby, but everyone has also pointed out that AFTER the birth of the baby she will likely get some help. And that unfortunately she may just have to make do with the 2nd hand things and go without other things that she needs, because her circumstances dictate that she cannot qualify for the SSMG, however unfair that may seem. I asked her what she did for money before getting pregnant, whether her family are supporting her or she had a little job. She may be able to get some casual or temporary work seeing as it is Christmas approaching despite being pregnant. The majority of the posts are giving advice although they are not accompanied by sympathy - thats my choice.
25/9/08 19:33
No it doesn't make her a victim I agree BUT she was clearly upset when she posted this.
Maybe she is to far on in pregnancy to actually be able to work??
If she is STILL in education, doesn't that clearly show that she obviously wants to do something with her life?
The girl wants help, not a lecture, I am sure she has had plenty of those.
Everyone is entitled too their opinion of course, but the girl is clearly worried of what lies ahead of her now, things can't be changed now.
So what if her boyfriend works?? Many familys work and still are entitled to this.
Before anyone even starts I am not a benefit grabbing baby machine
Now please correct me if I am wrong, but seems like debates users have come over here and jumped on this poor girl. SHE IS 16 FGS!!! she wants help and advice!
To the op: I would ask your mum to claim for you honey, I am sure she can, It may be worth a trip to to the job centre see if they can advice you.
Good Luck
25/9/08 19:25
Nor does it mean she deserves to be shouted down by people she doesnt know about something she cant change.
oops, better jump in the shower and get me and dd ready or i'll be late for work!