The class I had  about 7 years ago, a little boy said 'Tom doesn't want to be my friend, he said I am a .....' when I questioned him about it, he said ' I didn't hear myself say that'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  xx

That is brilliant!  Caused a few laughs in our household!!

LOL!!!! brilliant - made me laugh!!

Omg, they're so funny! I love the "I'm not going to write about the sea" one...and the last one! Kids are always just a little too honest.

That is sooooooooo funny, Kids have the funniest things to say

loved this thought it was brill kids always say the funniest things

Thank you i am in tears of laughter. Brilliant.

Pearl

the last one really got me lol! are these true? i wanna know what school their going to lol!

sorry copied and pasted it all kids are aged 5-7

primary school children writing about the sea  
 
 
 1) this is a picture of an octopus.  it has eight testicles.  (kelly age 6)
 
2) oysters' balls are called  pearls.  (james age 6)
 
3) if you are surrounded by sea you  are an island. if you don't have sea all round you, you are  incontinent.(wayne age 7)
 
4) sharks are ugly and  mean, and have big teeth, just like emily richardson.  she's not  my friend no more.  (kylie age 6)
 
5) a dolphin breaths  through an arsehole on the top of its head.(billy age 
 
6) my dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (emily burniston age 5)
 
7) when ships had sails, they  used to use the trade winds to cross  the ocean.  sometimes, when  the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind  come.  my brother said they would be better  off eating  beans.(william age 7)
 
i like mermaids.  they  are beautiful, and i like their shiny tails. how do mermaids get  pregnant?  (helen age 6)
 
9) i'm not going to write about  the sea.  my baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my  dad keeps shouting at my mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant,  so i can't think what to write.  (amy age 6)
 
10) some  fish are dangerous.  jellyfish can sting  electric eels can give you a shock.  they have to live in caves under the sea where  i think they have to plug themselves into  chargers.  (christopher age 7)
 
11) when you go swimming  in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (kevin  age 6)
 
12) divers have to be safe when they go under the  water. two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on  each other.
(becky age
 
13) on holiday my mum went  water skiing.  she fell off  when she was going very fast.   she says she won't do it again because water shot up her  fanny (julie age 7).