Taurus-

Love -This week You will have a deeper insight of your closest relationship, and realize how much they mean to you, You will also have a few surprises in the bedroom as your fantasies get the better of themseves!

Friendship- A long lost friend will appear out of no-where, with a shock announcement but don't forget about your old ones as they will be needed in the next few days or so.

Health- A few ups and downs this week, You will continue to add on those dreaded pounds, but will diet at the beginning of next month, having saturn as your taskmaster you'll bloody stick to it this time!

Things-to-do- Get off your bloody arse and do some cleaning, its been staring you in the face for god knows how long so just get on with it!!

Remember- Possible problems with communications could lead to misunderstandings, You have been on a high but its now time for you to calm down a bit.

=]

Gemini:

as you saunter through your week majestically, you'll come across a familiar face from the past who will help you on the right track to success and good fortune.

wear yellow for luck in wealth, green for love and blue for dazzling beauty.

your lucky day this week will be friday.

try and make time for yourself this week rather than concentrate on others, they're old enough to look after themselves and know how to put the kettle on!

try and avoid confrontations at the supermarkets, that trolley has a life of it's own!

And remember.......if someone doesn't have a smile, give them one of yours

(wish the good fortune and wealth bit came true for me!)

aries: with murcury and venus parrallel to the second sun, expect a return of a father figure, who will, within a week change his mind and p*** off again. but don't worry the mother is still waiting open armed and loving. you will see challenges in the home and more within yourself, but be strong and sort the fuking problem out. now, stay carm and relax. the month is nearly over.

virgo- 

your life will be a shít hole.

 your luck will get worse with every day that pass's

things you touch will turn to s***.

how true is that

very

Just for fun, lets make up our own horoscopes.  will be weird if anyone gets it right

Aquarius: As jupiter rises in your sign this week and neptune vomiting in your toaster you will presented with many exciting new challenges, mainly in the workplace.  Try to be patient with that impertinent colleague who is just asking for a good slap.  Some more on the job training may be coming your way.  In your love life, things are looking lively with the return of a long lost love.