You should do what makes you happy, if you know deep down that its never going to work with your ex then you shouldnt feel guilty.

Ive recently been in a similar situation, me an my ex split in september last yr and then I bumped into my friends ex (we were really good friends yrs ago) things happened an we started 2 become really good friends. By this time by friend hardly contacted me, she was one of them who only phone when she wanted summat, and she didnt know I'd been in contact with him. Me an him then realised we had feelings more than friendship and decided to make a go of things. When my friend found out she went mad (they'd been split up 7yrs by this point!!) and now we dont talk. However me and my dp are really happy, been 2gether 6months, living 2gether and think we are expecting our first child 2gether. It can work out, life's too short. If your friend was a true friend they'd see how happy you are and if theres no chance of them getting back 2gether an u are truely happy then who are you harming??? x x x

you have a right to be happy and you have obviously got your head screwed on so good luck with things and have fun! x

Theres no way him and her would have got back together. Neither of them were interested. Although now obviously I have doubts over her feelings for him.

She still wont talk, another friend has been trying to help us out but poor things stuck in the middle. Time will tell I guess.

My kids wouldnt meet any fella, until I was 100% certain of our future, and a loooong way down the line. As it is, whilst ex is still living here, Im not going to really broadcast it, for his sake. I will tell him at some point but its too soon atm. He also says he doesnt want to know if I had met someone.

You know what though, I am, for the first time in years, doing something for me, something that makes me happy. And if that makes me selfish then so be it I will be careful where my kids are concerned though.

happy mum = happy child yes BUT sometimes this does affect the child bad. believe me i know. me and dh split 6-7 years ago for a few months. both of us were with someone else (nothing serious but regular 'aquaintances' my dd knew the bloke i was with and liked him, that was before she saw me peck him on the cheek. at 6 years old (same age as your dd) she put 2 + 2 together and was upset cause she wanted me and daddy to love eachother. we ended up together again me and the kids dad and are now married but we had a rocky time with dd for a while after that.

Good for you that you are not prepared to just sit in an unsuitable relationship just to keep everyone else happy! And I don't think that you are really leaving your husband for someone else as you have said that you would leave him anyway regardless of whether it works out with this new guy.

Ithink you have thought it through and you are doing everything in the right order. As for your friend, I know it will be a little sore that someone is seeing her ex but at the end of the day he is her EX not her current, would they get back together if you weren't in the picture? If the answer is no then it is down to her to see that and not take her frustrations out on you. I found out the hard way that my "best friend" of 12 years was only my best friend when it was all about her, when the tables turned I didn't see her for dust.

Good luck with everything and don't worry about your child, happy mum makes happy children and if it means that mum and dad have to be seperate for that to happen the children will accept it and be happy with it.

i agree with following your heart if this relationship with your dh hasnt been right for a while BUT..... ok you move on but remember your 6 year old. they wont want to move on. their dads their dad and im sure as hell seeing you with another man so soon would crack them up believe me so just keep this from your child for as long as possible to be fair on your child.

At the end of the day, you were upfront with your mate about it, and it has been over a year since they split, so you were more than fair. She needs to realise that she can't have a claim on him forever. You need to do what's right for you, you don't get a second chance at life, and you have every right to be happy! Don't throw away something good with this bloke, especially when like you said, she will probably still be funny with you, even if you do back off!

you have to follow your heart i think! do whatever will make you happy! like someone said u only live once!

We have tried. Weve been together 8 years, and 2 years ago we split up, badly, and were apart for 7 mths before we decided to give it another go. And took things slowly. We only moved back in together a few months ago but its just not right for me. I know I could possibly feel the same about new bloke too, but I wont know unless I try.

My friend hasnt come round yet, I havent heard from her but Ive decided to make a go of things with new bloke anyway. Either way I've "betrayed" her in her eyes so might as well get on with it.

Me and ex are living together, getting on pretty well, but leading seperate lives. I hope this will work for the kids sake, but he doesnt know Ive moved on yet.

linkevolution i totally agree with you except with the habbit bit i think some people do always have that "spark"

as for the rest i would never give up my relationship as easy,the grass isnt always greener and all that and tbh you could find yourself thinking the same in a yr or two about this man if you have tried to save your relationship then i see no problem with what your doing.

good on you for talking to your friend first. it has been over a yr since they split and if she has no feelings for him now i dont see the problem and fingers crossed she comes around

have you fought to save your relationship that you are in, or just gave up at the first hurdle? If you can honestly say you have fought your hardest and its still not working and can live with all the harm you are going to cause your partner, children, family best friend etc then go for it, but if you have any doubts about it maybe you should listen to that. Dont mean to sound harsh but its a big decision to make and there will be a big fall out from it. Good luck with whatever you decide

I'll be honest i think work at the relationship your in before you give up. After my son was born things went a bit stale and we argued and it almost ended a few times but we worked at it and are now happier than ever. At one point i thought i didnt love him but i wanted the thrill of being with someone new and after a while realised it wouldnt be any different sparks fade, but you can get it back x

Your poor hubby. I feel for the guy as i'm in a similar position. Although with mine my wife has been horrid to me etc, we still live together, but thats only as we are waiting for her to get a council place in her home city. She hasnt met anyone else but doesnt feel she loves me any more. She is also suffering PND, which may have a part to play in her thinking.

But if your hubbies anything like me, i suspect he'll be hoping deep down, you will change your mind, and that still living together may give him some hope.

On a side note, I think all this "love" business, to be blunt, is a load of bolloxs. So called "experts" claim the initial love/spark people feel towards a partner only lasts between 18 months to 2 years, and relationsips then become a "habit" more then anything. I suspect those women who say they no longer "love" their partners in that way (passion, the spark etc) are probably addicted to that initial feling of being in love, which will inevitably fade with time. What then? will you find another man?

As for the bloke you are going with, again i dont mean to be nastey, but in the back of his mind he will always have the thought "she left her husband for me, so she has shown she is prepared to leave her bloke for another". Its probably gona leave him feeling insecure and uncertain, which will inevitably impact his affection towards you, not at first, but later on as his feelings grow stronger, so will the insecurity.

Its unfortunate also that a 6 year old is involved. This will have a big impact on the little child. However if you think this man is worth it, then its a decision you must take but you must also accept responsibility for the consequences, as a little 6 year olds happy world is about to be torn apart.

Really ask yourself, is it worth it?

Too many people seem too willing to tell people to leave their partners, both men and women. Its sad to see that in this day and age, so few people encourage their friends to try and work at things to work through difficult times. All relationships go through difficult periods, i'm sure we all go through periods when we think to yourselves "do i really love the person, am i really happy" especially when some pretty young women starts showing you a lot of affection(in a mans case), i've been there myself. But you work through it. You should think things through long and hard. 

Your marriage is not a little teenage relationship, its a marriage with a child invovled. What ever happened to sticking to your marriage vows?

I'm sorry if i sound harsh, but being in a similar position to your hubby i have to speak up.  I apologise to all who think i may have been too harsh. If you wish to hurl abuse at me, please do so via private message, as i dont wanna cry on a public forum

Thanks peeps.

Ive had a long hard think, and tried to talk to my mate, but didnt get very far!  Ive now seperated with dp! He too kept burying his head in the sand, and I was finding it hard to make it clear without being horrible!! Today I told him straight, and each time he said, oh but lets try... I said, no, thats it! I love him, but in the wrong way, and I dont want to hurt him. I want to stay friends, for the kids more than anything. Its going to be hard for my 6yr old to take in.

Im going to let things calm down over next few weeks and start things up with new guy. Hopefully my friend will come round. Me and dp are still going to be living together for the time being, but its strictly "friends only" which he seems to have taken on board. He said he loves me, and always will but knows theres no point trying anymore if I dont feel it too.

One life - live it.  If this guy brings you happiness and makes you feel things you don't feel with anyone else then go for it.  Your mate will come around I'm sure.  I just think if you and this guy truly love eachother and you are meant to be then you should find happiness together. Good luck. xxxx

hey hun if i were you i would go for it with ya friends ex, like you said even if you didnt do anything with him now she would still probably be quite off with you, so you may aswell. i have a mate who started dating one of my exs only 3 months after we had split up - yes i was hurt and for some reason felt betrayed by her and him, but after they had been together  for a while i realised they made each other happy and i also realised that even if he wasnt with her he would be with someone else, but either way he wouldnt be with me. give her a few days to get use to the idea and then speak to her - tell her you understand if she is hurt/upset but you cant always choose who you fall in love with and that u havent taken the decision lightly, and knowing that he is her ex has made the decision a million times harder cos she is the last person in the world yoou would want to hurt hth hun good luck

also slightly different subject but i am currenly trying to split with dh but every time i tell him its over he seems to bury his head in the sand and say that we will talk about it in the morning and then the next morning he will go work early etc so we cant discuss it, ive told him i love him but am no longer IN love with him but he just  says things are getting better- do you have any advice/tips to get him to wake up and face whats happening?????

sorry don't know what to suggest but think you were right in waiting and telling her before taking it any further and she split with him a year ago so don't really understand her problem i'd be happy my mate was happy maybe it has given her something to think about and she mite still have feelings for this person   (not sure i'd be too happy to walk away from soemthing if you think it will make you both happy as how often does it happen hun)

So I approached her last night and told her, before I took things any further what my plans were and how does she feel. And she was cool about it. Or so  I thought.

She broke up with him over a year ago and were still friends.  Me and him have talked and know this is what we want, but were waiting on her reponse before doing anything.

Today shes changed, says she doesnt trust me, this has "changed things" between us and she feels used. Doesnt think things will ever be the same again, for us as friends.

Im splitting with dp either way, as I know hes not right for me. Ive told him its over, but hes not really taking it in.

Dont know what to do now though. I dont want to lose my best friend, but I dont want to give up this chance with this guy. 

I know I shouldnt have fallen for my friends ex, but sometimes you dont plan these things. We get on sooo well, hes good with my kids. Im thinking Im going to have to end it with him, but she will prob still be the same with me for even thinking bout making a go fo things with him.

Please offer some words of wisdom! Im lost!