Hi Hun,

Your situation sounds like a exactly how our's has been since I had dd five months ago. Dp works very long hours, all over the country, and we both seem to be really tired all the time. We went through a phase of dp just not being interested and I took it very personally, believing that our relationship was just going wrong. But we got a babysitter, had a night out just the two of us and talked about it and I realised that there is nothing wrong with us, it's just how life can be sometimes. I watch dp with our dd and realise that we are a proper family and how much I love him. We try harder now to make more time for ourselves, even if it's just a cuddle on the sofa, or in bed and try and make sure we have sex at least once a week. The days of wild sex, be it drunken or not are still there occasionally but not like they used to be. Most of the time it is a quick sunday morning fumble (sorry if tmi).

Because we talked about it and found out how we both feel I now feel much more relaxed at at ease. I know that we love each other and that sometimes life just gets in the way. Try and make time for yourselves, go out once in a while and have some you time. It worked wonders for us. Our dd is going to my parents next weekend, and the only thing dp and I can think about is a long lazy lay in next Sunday morning!

Hope things pick up soon xx

Thanks for your reply,I understand that ex isn’t everything but in the evenings he just goes on the pc and me on my laptop,we are in the same room but it feels like we live different lives,he isn’t a "talky" person,so I find it hard,he just says that there isn’t a problem,I just feel like I need a bit more,we have 3 children and he says that they get to me too much (ds is going through his terrible twos).I dosuffer from pnd and I am on anti depressants but I don’t feel like anything has changed,I love my children and my dh but I don’t feel like anything is moving on if u know what I mean.God I sound so selfish,sorry.xx

firstly, hugs hun. i know it cant be easy. my dh leaves at 5.30am everyday, and most days he isnt back til 7ish and im knackered after looking after our 3 kids. this week he wasnt getting home til even later than that.

what you have to remember is it isnt all about sex-yes the sex helps but it isnt everything. have you tried talking to him about it? maybe you can just try and spend the evening cuddled up together-even if you are too tired for sex, you can always fit in a cuddle to be close to each other. find a night, without the kids or put them to bed early and  go to bed together. this week i decided enough was enough and iwas gunna make mroe of an effort-tired or not and i have loved every minute of it! dh has been asleep since 8-he is tired from working hard and sex 4 times this week-normally we have it once a week or less!

i bet if you talk to him he will probably feel the same as you, that although  you are tired he still wants to have sex with you. like i said, try and make some time, have a couple of early nights and on the 3rd night just go for it!! x

Dh and I are always tired and if he's not then I am,we haven't had sex for over a week,he works long hours and drives all over the contry so he is always nackered,how can we get things back on track?It is making me feel terrible and I am starting to think our relationship isn't worth it anymore.x