I'm not surprised you've gone off sex to be honest. It's took until 2 weeks ago for us (ddnow 8 months) to get back to some normality in that department as it was hurting me too, but think i just wasn't ready physically or emotionally so clammed up, making it worse. I'm lucky as my dp has been fantastic, not moaned once-if anything it's been me moaning about it.

How he expects you to feel like having sex after talking to you like that and acting how is he with you is beyond me! Not exactly a turn on. Have you talked to him about it? You're bound to feel like you do so don't blame yourself at all, you've done an amazing thing giving birth and raising a baby so make sure he appreciates that! Some things are more important than sex.

I don't like to be the bearer of bad news, but people do often find that lack of sex in relationships, and a shifty partner with questionable behaviour..... leads to an affair.

That may not be the case with you, but if you do suspect that something may be going on, maybe you could ask him. If you don't think that would work at all, try playing the spying game. Or play him at his own game, tell him some old boyfriend is messaging you on facebook or something and see if he reacts at all.

As for trying to find out if anything was happening without letting yout other half know, I woudn't know wehre to start. Maybe with the mobile, and have a look exactly what the messages are like that are being sent and received.

Hi ladies, thanks for the lovely replies, made me feel a whole lot better,  this has been since having the baby, six months ago, we barely make love, and when it happens, I absolutey dread it,  he is a huge guy, and is really really well endowed, was going to say a big willy!, haha... anyhow, has also put a lot of weight on, and it feels like a bus hitting into me, not enjoyable at all, I want to scream!, so I avoid it as much as possible, I think you are right I am stressed, he has been exceptionally nasty to me, even down to balming me for when he reversed down a one way system and hit another car, not hard as we were practically stationary but what a thick thing to do? he said that I was telling him to late when to take the turning!!!.... no lie! that is the truth! he has been really really nasty for a while now, so I guess I might be claming up when it comes to sex,, I have a doc appointment on monday, so embarrassing! also he has a lady friend at work, who is getting married in oct, but has so far had two affairs with married men i the company, one at the mo, is a guy who has a four month old baby, she aslo kissed another at the office party, the guy talk amongst themselves, and she has admited it, she texts him all the time,  and sends him little funny codes on the text,  which he said they are just having a laugh,and also goes to lunch with him a lot, he swears blind that nothing is happening, and when they caught the taxi back from a work party, and he came home three hours later than what he said, swears blind nothing happened, so I guess I think he might be having a little fling with the office ....

I am not that great at playing the game of spy, have only caught him out lying a couple of times, and not sure how to catch him if he is having a fling, dont know where he would have the time, lunch time maybe, or maybe they are just having an emotional friend share all thing, and he gets advice, and she gets her ego boosted that a handsome married man is giving her attention and adking her for advice or something,.

How lomg has it been a problem for?

Is it recent? Or only since you had the baby?

It could allb e down to stress. The body reacts in funny ways to stress. I still have times now when it hurst, and it is all down to being unable to relax.

If you get someone to have the kids for a few hours in the afternoon/evening, maybe you and your other half can have some fun then.

He sounds like a right **** to be honest.

Dont you think you deserve better then that hun?

Have you been checked internally since having your lo and you might have something wrong down there.

You should never feel pressured into looking good for someone else.

Hope your ok x

Hi I have completely gone off sex, it is so sore, like knives, and I used to love sex, and used to love anal too, and even play with vibrator and anal! I couldnt get enough!!... now, I feel like cringing even if he touches my nipples, and feel sore and raw after sex, it is causing major problem's, he has been really mean to me now, and also started flirting with other woman, and no more romance, treating me like a sister now.

I have a six month old baby, and a two year old toddler, and am still breastfeeding, I make an effort to try to firm up and always take care of my apprearance, and try to please him in other ways, but now I am depressed as hell, what to do, please could someone advice me  thanks