Link you need to actually sit her down and say you need to talk, not dash questions her way over tea.

That way you should get answers even if they are not clear or the ones you want.

baking you your favourite cake shows that shes thinking of you though. she could have easily just done one for herself, but shes being civil enough to do these things for you.

aww thanks Jodie, yes you can be nice. You must have had a niceness transplant j/k!

Thanks guys for the responses, relaly do appreciate them, especially you Boris! that was a great response. Thanks for advising against sex, although theres no chance of that happening. lol

Yesterday she'd baked me a cake, my fav cake. I asked her during dinner why she was being so nice to me, nice and kind suddenly. She simply respoded by saying "i'm not, i was just baking so i thought i'd make you one". lol, oh well!

aww hes not being spiteful he has been messed around big time!

She has messed with his head is so many ways off course he is going to doubt her and be confused.

see link i CAN be ncie some times!

Link i think its quite spiteful for you to say ''What on earth is she upto? Whats going on?''

I think, shes had the time away and shes all happy and is showing her feelings for you again!

the only advice i can give is to enjoy it. make sure she knows you appreciate it being a happier atmosphere in your house. fingers crossed it will all turn out well for you and your wife. good luck. x

Well, ill give it from an independant point of view.

It seems to me (but im not Sherlock Holmes, so this is only an opinion, not elementary, my dear Chatty Peon) that she doesnt know what she wants. She could want to make things up with you, break up with you, or she might be scared that your going to take your daughter with you. Simple fact is, no one on an internet forum, none of us, not even you, knows whats going through her head right now, so the best thing to do is actually ask. But for gods sake, dont have sex with her. It could give her mixed signals, and two sets of them is two more than you both need. You need to sit down with her, ask her what she wants, where she sees this relationship going and whether you have a future together and if your love can raise like a pheonix from the ashes. And you need to do it in calm voices, without any swearing. But you both need to work out where you stand, and the route to where you want to go. If you can't do it on your own, then either an independant mediator or someone from Relate might help.

Good luck, Chatty Peon.

The Mayor.

Very strange. Either she's changed and the meds have worked.

                        Or she got up to some thing she shouldn't while away.

                        Or she might not be sure if she wants to stay or go.

                        Or she might feel horny and want to sweet talk you into bed.

We could spend all day with the ors! You need to speak to her tell her you would like to give it another try if that's what she wants but if it isn't then you'll back off and keep things they are as this is good for LO.

Emma

awww ((((hugggsssss)))

Maybe the break has done her good.

Or maybe she is trying to be civil even though the situation stays the same.

Only she can tell you the answer hun

You need to talk to her tonight.

Make sure your telling her you appriate the meals/cakes etc as she sounds like she is making the effort.

just an update to my situation.

she is still being nice towards me, not really arguing. Seems to be more friendly and "closer" as in she'll sometimes come and sit on my bed, or sit next to me on small sofa so we're almost cuddled up together, which is really annoying as i'm getting these signals which i'm finding really confusing. I'd normally think from that she is trying to get close to me again, but then she'll often drop hints about moving back i.e. if i dont do dd's hair right, she'll say "when you have to have her on your own, you can't do it like this" etc etc.

Help guys! All this is making me very ratty which is probs showing now on the forums.

I need a cuddle. Jodie? Someone? Anyone?

hey link.

must say im glad to hear she has come back and is being nice. i bet you must of been dreading her coming back and starting on you all over again, but at the same time it must be hard to go from one extreme to the other.

i too would be very causious, it could just be that the time away has made her see what an awful cow (could think of worse words to call her but wont lol) she has been over the last few months/years. the time at her mums could of made her see how much you do for her. time away does us all a lot of good.i am currently staying at my mums house with the children, come next week i will realise how much we both needed it and how much we both love each other.

on the other hand, ive very often heard stories, and experienced them myself, when an abusive partner seems to of changed and it lasts for a while then goes back to the old way. i would try and talk to her. it may seem awkward but you need to do it for your own peace of mind. 2 weeks ago you were all set to leavce, you need to talk and work out if your relationship is going to work, and more importantly whether you want it to work, and not for the sake of your daughter, it has to be what you want.

if it is what you want, then take each day as it comes, see how it goes. of course it would be hard work, but it is always do-able if you work hard enough. i really hope she isnt playing mind games with you, because after everything you have been through you really do not deserve it.

Please be very careful, it would be great if the time away has brought her to her senses and she has realised what she stands to loose if she carries on the way she has.  But a common characteristic of people who use violence against their partners is to be the complete opposite for a while to try and make up for what has happened.  Then the slightest of things can provoke a violent outburst again.  Think carefully about what you want to do, you and your lo are the most important people to consider in all of this.  Do you really think that 2 weeks away can change a person that much for good?  In my experience it doesnt.  Im sorry if this is not what you want to hear i just wanted you to have a point of view from the negative side to help you while you desided what is best.  Good luck xx Lou

Maybe seh has spent the two weeks away thinking about things and how much you do for her with cooking meals massages etc.

Also staying with parents takes it's toll after a while.

She probably realised the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Take things as they come and good luck. I know you want things to get back to normal. But make sure she is back and changed for the right reasons.

I think the time apart from you has given her time to think about everything that has happened recently. I think she is trying to show you that she wants things to change and give it another go. Take it at her pace and let her lead you, sounds as though she is trying to make it up to you. Good luck. xx

Hi

Have you asked her why the sudden change in attitude?? Has she done something she is trying to cover up? By acting the way she is, she may be trying cover her guilt. Maybe she wants to give it another go, But if you don't talk about things, they won't last and you'l end up back at square one.

Us women are very strange complex beings! Don't try and understand us!!!

Speak to her..... Try and find out what's going on or it will drive you mad.

Good luck x

maybe the 2 weeks away has done her good and shes had a good think. i wouldnt question her being nice to you just enjoy it and hope its the start of something new x x x

maybe being away from you made her realize what she has and what she has done to push you away and now she wants to make that up to you and try to get back to the way things were. sounds to me like she has had a change of heart, link. hopefully this isnt just a phase but it doesnt sound like it to me. hope all goes well for you

Maybe shes realised the error of her ways and wants to give things a go

Hello all

My wife came back from her parents last week after 2 weeks away to allow things to calm down a bit at home after the violence and the nastey things she said about me in bed/performance compared to others.

Anyway this wek she has been very different. Not arguing with me at all, not putting me down, in fact she has made me sandwiches every day to take to work (she hasnt done this for months), she has been cooking me fresh meals daily, ready for when i get home from work, again something which hasnt happened for a long time (recently i just come home and cook my own thing from the freezer or i cook us both a fresh meal). She has even baked me fresh cakes (the first time in months) which she knows i love. The other night i was sitting on the chair watching TV (in the bedroom) and she asked me to come and sit on the bed with her......(i sleep in the spare room now).  

What on earth is she upto? Whats going on? I'm totally confused by all this. I dont wanna ask her directly as i feel very awkward about it. So ladies, you lot have been in many different types of relationships, why is she suddenly behaving like this, being so nice to me??